Getting back up isn't the hardest part...

So I had intended my next blog post to be positive, and in all reality was feeling sort of guilty that my last post was such a downer... yet I'm not in the greatest of moods. We finally had a phone conference with the AA guys, only to hear another harsh critique of our map, one that we could have had earlier. There are certain elements in our map that we like, but they find broken. Mainly it evolves around the center market, such a topic we've had heated debates in the past and a specific part of the map that I enjoy. There were certain things that had happened during their play test, that hadn't happened in ours and well as much fun we had playing our map I guess they didn't in the big scheme. They suggested a major overhaul and intense work be put into our map, as well as more polish. I guess this is a good experience when dealing with a client, where your views may not always meet, in the big scheme of things I can't help but think that maybe it's good for us. My concern is that we only have one week to do something drastic... this is another moment where we really have to "shock and awe," we've done it before and hopefully we can do it again. The frustraiting part is that so far only two members of my team can definitly be commited to it during the next week. What's equally as frustraiting is that I'll be in South Africa and unable to help for the most part. This is an intensely frustraiting moment for me and yea I can't help but worry. It's not that I don't have faith in my group, I do, it just stinks to not be appart of it I guess. On another level they are both Designers, where I hope they'll be able to have an artist's touch in some aspects. It hurts that I have to be so hands off for this last and most important week... expecially since I have become quite attached to it. I'm hoping that from the support from others at the EMC that maybe we can pull it through.

I have many mixed emotions after this meeting... I am happy for the other group, they still have some things to tweek but in a sense they have pretty much gotten the "Ok we'll publish your map." It also seems as though Champlain will be throwing a block party for them if their map is published, something we would do without... we would be forgotten. Would our efforts be in vain? Sure we had learned through the experience, and well perhaps we don't deserve recognition for attempting the risky map. I also can't help but contribute this to my own failure in a sense, perhaps I'm nothing without working with other extremely talented individuals. Have they been carrying me all this way? Had I been wrong all along about this map? Had I wrongly influenced my team in a bad direction?

There's a certain feeling of helplessness with being unable to be there with my team during these crucial hours. This is another moment where we have to get back up, and now I see that getting back up isn't the hardest part, it's watching your team try without you.