An American Living in Montreal

I can't be the only one who thinks that random acts of violence have the potential to be pretty hilarious. It's not that I actually want to hurt anybody, quite the contrary. Relatively speaking I'm not really a violent individual... but do I think about how funny/horrible it might be if I were to suddenly scream "THIS IS MONTREAL" and kick someone into the Metro. Not that I ever would... Sure you could probably blame video games, or many upon many years of other violent media on shaping such supposedly sadistic thoughts. I'm sure people reading this may very well, but I don't. I've made it clear on several occasions that I believe that we are merely made up of our experiences, and obviously exposure to such things probably has had some impact on me. Yet, I enjoy my seemingly random strings of thought. Do you ever find your self happy living inside your own head? Perhaps this life of half isolation that I've been living has had some negative effects on me. Yet lately I find myself quite content in my own head.

I remember in college I had tendencies to laugh at my own jokes, or alternative views of reality that I might imagine in my head. Few people would actually notice, but when they did it was always sort of awkward sometimes trying to explain. As inevitably it never quite came out as funny as it was in my head. There was one friend though in College who would always encourage me to share what I was thinking, I got so used to sharing that now that I don't... just feels strange sometimes. Since I was encouraged, I think its made me day dream even more. Without having an outlet made me sort of depressed for a while, but I think I've become comfortable with it again. I've chosen to be quite happy lately, and it's been good :)

I do believe that we make out own happiness, and naturally we need to have both good days and bad. Perhaps I'm only speaking for myself, but there are certain days where I'm unhappy because I chose to be.

The other day I thought about writing a blog post with whatever entered my mind at the time. Just a little stream of thought from the world I live in everyday. While I'm sure it may seem like random babbling, I think we all need to be more in touch with our own inner ranter; and to truly understand someone else... perhaps we need to hear how the world is perceived in their eyes.

I thought about all of this on my way to another french outing, and how if I were to ever write a book about my perceptions about life living in Montreal; I may call it "An American living in Montreal." Although it's still unknown as to how long my stay here will actually be, and of course there comes the question of actually ambition to do so.

One thing is for certain though... If you see me in a seemingly mundane environment, and catch me trying to hide a smile. I very well may be thinking of a random act of violence...



(Disclaimer: I don't actually always think about random acts of violence, nor do I have any intention on hurting anyone. The point was to talk about random thoughts, and well this post is certainly full of them)

Take life as it comes

Life is always changing, and ironically enough change can be the scariest thing sometimes. In this respect, for a little while now, I've tried my best to be prepared for anything that might come my way. The way things have gone for me, it seems as though I have to be prepared for the unexpected as in most cases, they turn out to be some of the greatest experiences in my life. My first excursion for the Emergent Media Center for example, heading off to Eliot Masie's Learning 2007 conference. Seemed like such a rash thing to do, but lead to so many other great possibilities for me. It's funny to think it's been two years since then, and it's been fun reading about the newest EMC team at this year's learning conference. All that feels like it was a life time away, and I've certainly changed along with my circumstances since then.

A lot of people ask me what my plans are, and really they are quite vague. I like it this way though. I've come to a certain understanding about life, and it isn't based on certainties. For me it's based on balance, the most we can do is try our best at whatever we set forth to do, have a positive attitude, and hope good things return to us. Along with this though, we have to have ups and downs in our life, and it's important to have both equally. If we didn't have hard times, how could we truly appreciate the good times in our lives? We need bad days, to recognize the good ones. I think I'm on my way out of a uncertain time in my life, which was on a bit of a low. My circumstances changed drastically again, and while in some ways I'm still in limbo as to what I'm going to be doing, things have begun to balance themselves out I think. The limbo part of my life, resides in if my visa will get approved by the Canadian government, which there is a possibility that it won't be. The good part of my life is that I did receive a job offer from Ludia Software in Montreal. Lately there always seems to be more complications when it comes to things, but I'm hoping to hear soon that my visa has been approved. If it doesn't, well I'm not sure what I'll do to be honest. I don't even know where I'd live, would I try to go back to New Hampshire for a while to an empty home, stay with someone in Burlington, or would I follow my parents and go to Arizona? I'm really not sure, and in my mind nothing is set in stone. Whatever happens, I have to believe it's for the best. If my future lies in Montreal, the visa will get approved. If it doesn't, then that just mean life intends on me being elsewhere and that's ok too. Whatever happens, I'll figure it out... sometimes you have to play with the cards your dealt, no matter what's in your hand. One thing I'm sure about though, is that wherever I end up, things will be ok. I managed to make a bit of a life for myself in a new city, I suppose I could probably do it again.

One final note is that MIGS or SIJM (to the french) is coming up next week, and while it's unfortunate that I won't be attending this year, I'm looking forward to hopefully seeing some people coming up for this event. Good luck to you Champlainers who are going, as this is an extremely good networking opportunity. Ironically enough, people who I met there last year, I ended up working with at my first job :)

Congrats again to this year's Learning 2009 Team! Miss you guys!


p.s be sure to check out some new sections of my Gallery, finally added a part for the America's Army project and some of my DS work is up there now :)