Maya

I've avoided writing for the past couple weeks, as these have seemed to be the most trying and didn't necessarily want to be completely negative. Things have been a bit hectic with ramping up with school, and especially the UN project. These past two weeks had been solely focused on a presentation that we were to give on Thursday the 22nd in New York, to our benefactor and others from the UN. During all of this our senior team project had given some specific guide lines that we had to address in order for our game to make it pass "Green Light" and continue with production, and that presentation was the Friday after New York. As trying as this time has been, we gather strength from continuing to walk forward and not falling down. I'm happy to say that I had a really relaxed weekend, although not being glued to my work always concerns me but I'm sure I can make it up during this next week.

The presentation to the UN on Thursday was a pretty big success I think, as nervous as I had been it went fairly smoothly. Getting into these intellectual conversations is something that I seem to live for, somehow I've become a talker... Not exactly sure when that happened but yea New York was pretty awesome. As happy a day Thursday was, though, I also recieved word that my childhood dog had died... Something pretty hard to hear between meetings, and trying to stay on track. He was very old, and if anything this was probably the best way he could have gone but I still wish I had been home. This had been my dog since I was really little, and I named him Rex, a little cliche I know... but I was really into dinosaurs and he was my T. Rex. I wasn't always as social as I am now, and during that time he was my best friend... and I'll miss him. Before I begin to sound any more like a bad country music song I'll just change the subject haha.

So upon returning from New York I ended up having a pretty late night preparing for our Green Light deliverable, which I have still yet to hear about. We were told that we wouldn't hear until the beginning of this week, but I think it went over pretty well. I'm not sure I could be happier with how the group seems to be shaping up, I think if we get the green light we'll have something pretty great to show in April.

I've had a lot of different strong emotions in the past week or so, and I'll admit that I've been a little all over the place. Through it all, though, it has been educational in a sense. I'm learning more about those around me, some things more shocking then others but needless to say pretty revealing, and I'm always learning more about myself. I know I'm being incredibly vague, but I'd rather think I'm being tactful =)

One thing I did want to share though, this may sound sort of random, but I find it odd that the word "Maya" keeps popping up pretty prominently in my life. Growing up I was deeply interested in mayan mythology and lore, coming to Champlain I've ironically become deeply invested in a software called Maya, and now through a world religions class I've stumbled upon Maya once more... This is an excerpt taken from a book called "The Illustrated World's Religions" by Huston Smith, and it's talking about Hinduism but yea,

"The Hindus have something like this in mind when they characterize the world as maya. The world appears the way we see it, but that is not the way it really is. Maya comes from the same root as magic. In saying the world is maya, non-dual Hinduism is saying that there is something tricky about it. The trick lies in the way the world's materiality and multiplicity pass themselves off as being independently real.... Maya is also seductive in the attractiveness with which it decorates the world, trapping us for a long time within it and postponing our wish to journey on." (page 53)

What do I do in maya other than "decorate" a world, in which may appear attractive and engrossing but in all reality does not exist; and it's existence hinges on others taking a pause on their journey... I can read a lot of different things out of this, but what I'll share is that I think it's all about perceptions. While somehow I've become invested in the business of false perceptions, and I'm finding that everything is in how we perceive the world around us. Perhaps we need to keep a critical eye to it too, just like any bit of reading we need to evaluate our own "realities." It's about how we choose to perceive things and how we choose to react to things that fall in our journey's path, and while things get tougher and really hard at times... You've got to have faith that you'll keep walking, that you'll topple the next rise, and that it may seem as though you've picked the steepest slope... You've picked it for a reason and you should climb it and claim it as your own.

Walk your own path, even if you have to trudge though a little shit every now and again.

Seeing the Finish Line

It's been a while I admit... but I think I had to let go of things for a little while. Coming back home has been pretty good for me I think. It had been a long time since I had actually had time to think, granted I practically have too much time to do that at home, it's been nice to reflect for a little bit. Something that I haven't been able to really escape from is the concept that I'll be graduating in a few months... Between being increasingly busy because of both work and school I hadn't given it much thought, yet many of my family members kept asking when exactly I was going to graduate and then its sort of hit me. This four year journey is nearly at an end... And as in anything it seems as though the climax of this story has been it's best part. I've fallen in love with my life at school, I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of really great people and make some connections that up until now I hadn't really thought much about, but really I've made a lot of great friends... a lot of friends that rely on me in some way, as I rely on them. Some friends I've had for longer, and some are new, but all accumulate to a pretty interesting dynamic that I've got going at school. It's hard to explain to others who I am and what I've been doing, and it's hard to understand I'm sure, but I've come to really value it.

It's hard not to feel sombre in the fact that my life is bound to change drastically in the next few months. I can't imagine where I'll be even this summer, but for some reason I hold some faith that this ride won't be ending May 9th but a new one will be beginning. Maybe in the end the best we can do is embrace uncertainty, because that's really all we have.

What is certain though is that Lauren and my game is going forward! We got the news yesterday and I'm sure she's as excited as I am. Even from home I can't help but get my mind back into "work mode" and begin thinking about scheduling and how we'll deal with the integration of new members. Unfortunately we were only given one new artist when I asked for two, which may change our scheduling a bit... and concerns me that I'll have to take on considerably more work. I was hoping to not work quite as much next semester, being my last semester, but I'm not sure how that goal is going to work out. Yet I'm convinced that this semester I'm going to fight to have at least one day off, novel concept I know haha but it sort of feels like a guilty pleasure at this point.

I guess it's already apparent in my last paragraph that its going to be a struggle this semester to think beyond the work that I'm doing now to my future, and as much as I know I need to be thinking of the future I can only hope to focus on the here and now and hope to excel one last semester at Champlain College. That is sort of my goal though, to not only excel at Champlain this last semester but really to enjoy my time in Burlington knowing that it will soon be over.

We live our lives to tell a good story... and so far I'm enjoying mine.

Also I'll be making the slow transition of this blow over to my new blog location at wesknee.com, it's still a little underconstruction but is close to being up. Please check it out though and you can check out images and a trailer from Lauren and my prototype... Enjoy!

Oh! I almost forgot (if your not viewing this from wesknee.com you should go there now) but on the right hand side you'll see a list of links that go to articles that include me in them. The most recent is "Q&A with Canyon Makers." Check that out too!