Sunday, December 14, 2008

Canyon: People keep talking!!

Hey,
I just thought I had to do a quick check in to post up links to these threads, listen what people are saying!!





Also check out this Youtube video someone posted up...

It is so incredible that people are enjoying our map!! Considering our map was the underdog for so long, I couldn't be more proud =)

On another note Lauren and my prototype is coming in so well!!! UGH! I'll try to post up a picture of our slick at some point... Can't wait to present a semester of long hard work. December ended up being amazing.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Canyon


It's been a pretty crazy week, last week of classes, running around trying to ensure that everything is getting done for our impending final presentations, and finally the release of our America's Army map to the public. It's sort of funny because I really didn't have enough time to think about this too much before it actually happened, and then when it finally did it was pretty big. Funny thing is I had stayed up pretty much all night the night before the release trying to fix last minute bugs in our map with my team, and the next day I was feeling more miserable then excited. Then it happened, probably literally with one button press our map was released to the public and suddenly forums and websites were reporting the news of the new maps and our achievements, and naming us by name! Sort of a HOLY CRAP experience when it came down to it. To think that suddenly there were other people, that could be anywhere on Earth, that were excited and speculating about our maps and then to think that people were now playing what we poured our hearts and souls into... WOW! The next day we kept checking in and at one point there were around twenty different servers running our maps in thirteen different countries, all at full server capacity. To think now that sure anyone can download and play our maps, but there are something like 9.3 million active users already on America's Army and have full access to our map! That's pretty crazy to think about... The exciting part is this is technically my first game release, and I'm not even out of college! The EMC threw us a pretty awesome LAN party last night, it was sooooo much fun to see so many people in and being excited playing our maps and just sort of generally heart warming to hear people actually like your creation. So far response has been pretty positive on forums and such...

As far as how I'm doing? Well I've been at work all day to try and finish up last minute finals homework and really get our production game finished. I'm pretty excited for that presentation, Lauren and I have done some pretty awesome things with this concept this semester and I can't wait to show it all off =)

OK have to get back to work but if you havn't downloaded AA yet, go download it and play our maps!!

At least check out the info on our maps on their site.

Also be sure to read the press release, it's on alot of different websites but all pretty much say the same thing.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Wanderlust

I've been thinking a lot lately how fortunate I've been throughout my life to have gotten to know the right people at the right time of my life. This may sound sort of weird but I feel like I've had the opportunity to really get to know the right people to influence me during the right times of my life... At times they have been Teachers, Coaches, and even peers; all who have helped shape me to be the person I am today. Speaking about this, if I had not had the opportunity to meet one of these people I probably wouldn't even be consciously recognizing this right now. That person is Alan Stracke, who I had my Freshman year for "Intro to Sociology." Funny story is I originally wasn't even signed up for his course, if I hadn't met my friend Niki in the first days of school I wouldn't have even known about it. Since then somehow he's changed the way I think, and perceive the world around me. I've been able to work in many of his teachings in not only the way I handle myself, but also in what I do in game development (I'm even using his book as a resource for a research paper I'm writing haha). He'd probably laugh if he heard this, considering he's not the most familiar with what exactly I do but his teachings still stand I believe. Really a lot of the models we use at the EMC to do games for learning, and even the PMC's "Sobido Method" falls right in line with what Stracke used to preach in class... engage the audience (user, student, whoever) and if they are engaged, they are learning and they are personalizing the information.... I'm not sure what it was about that 8 AM class I had when I was a freshman, maybe it was the funky reggae music first thing in the morning, or Stracke's crazy antics and stories but it's stuck with me...

It's sort of funny to think of him now, after all of this time. I was reminded of him by a article that was done about him in the Champlain Current and since then I can't help but reflect back on what I've learned from him, and others like him in my life. I feel bad that I've fallen into this crazy busy life I lead, because I really miss him... and yet I haven't taken the time to really reach out because that's the thing I'm short of most these days. Which has become more and more apparent with this semester's closing.

Thinking back on people who I'm thankful for meeting, it's sort of funny because I actually think of a friend I work closely with right now... It's weird to think that we haven't always been friends, but she's not only been great to work with but inspires me to be better at what I do.

That's another thing, I really think a great thing has happened at the EMC. I remember as I was going through college I had little to no contact with the grade above me, and with the culture and atmosphere that has been created at the EMC it's been so great to get to know people from different years through the EMC. Really it's been sort of fun watching them get into Maya, because I've had the opportunity to help out with some of their projects through some interesting late night work sessions we've had at the EMC as of late. The EMC is going to help further develop a stronger community and bond amongst the "e-gamers" here at Champlain College, and everyone is going to benefit. I could only imagine if I had received help when I was a sophomore and learned about more advanced stuff then I could only image how much more I could learn during my time here. I fully expect the Sophomore class to learn more, and go farther than I had the opportunity to do here, but don't take this as me being bitter by any means. I'm actually really excited for them.

Actually I was really touched the other day when two of my peers started talking about how they wished they had a "Wes in a Pocket," haha which I thought was pretty cool =)

These last couple of weeks have been hard, a lot of work and not a lot of time to do it but I've been hanging in there and am confident in the weeks on finals ahead. I'm planning on posting some stuff from our game soon after our presentation, but for now I'm keeping most of it under wraps. With these busy weeks I've had my ups and downs, but I'm doing alright and am looking forward to Christmas break that's closing in. I sort of wish Ann was around because there's a lot that I'd like to talk to her about but she's on some well deserved vacation.

OH! I almost forgot to say! I guess it's ok for me now to say that our America's Army maps have been officially accepted!!! They are releasing our maps later this week, with us fixing a few more bugs in the mean time but yea there has been an official release!!! Check it out at Americasarmy.com and in case any of you are curious, "Canyon" is the map concept that I worked on most of my summer. So yea it's been so exciting to see people actually writing in forums and speculating about our maps, not to mention being excited to play them!! UGH SO EXCITING!!! We'll be having a release party at the EMC on Friday, I have a lot of work to do but I'll take some time to celebrate... even though I didn't really for my own birthday haha but this is sort of bigger!

Anyways I'll end with the fact that through it all Stracke created a sort of Wanderlust in me, that has stuck with me and quite possibly will forever...

G'night all


Wanderlust:
A desire to travel, to understand one's very existence.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

It's an odd feeling getting older

On drives back and forth from Burlington to home, I think about a lot of things... today was no different. As I approach my 22nd birthday it's really sort of weird to see the "adult" (if that's what you can call it) I've become. This Thanksgiving when asked stories of my life and how things were going, I gave up tales of friendships made in townships in South Africa and talked about how busy life is for me working on three gaming projects. It's hard to think that not too long ago I was in High School, and I wouldn't believe anyone if they told me that I'd be able to do what I've been able to do in the past four years. It's sort of funny this sort of paradox that I have with myself, I like to think I keep becoming wiser. Reflecting on the past I think, "If only I was that knowledgeable then." Many people probably feel this but fail to realize that they will think that about themselves in the present in maybe a month's time. So maybe it's good to realize that we're never as wise as we might think we are... Ugh sorry about that rant... Anyways I just can't help but think of this last phase of my life, the friend's I've made and memories created here... I can't see where I'll be a year from now, but I'll most definitely look back at this busiest part of my life (thus far) and as hard as it is right now, I'll look back and smile... and I'll miss it.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Vicarious Visions

Ok, so I don't have very long to blog but I felt the need to blog quickly about my experience meeting two incredibly interesting people from Vicarious Visions. This pretty much was the topping on an already pretty incredible week, but I can't help but be so excited about what they are doing at Vicarious Visions. The most attracting factor is just the work environment in general, it really seems as though they have gone out of their way to make it pretty exceptional. They actually encourage their employees to have a life outside of the office, crazy idea! It sounds as though it's fairly easy to move around the company internally depending on your interests, and that's the other thing... They recognize that there are really two different kinds of people, those who can focus solely on that one thing and be really good at it and those who have varied interests and good communications skills. That is so exciting because I had become increasingly nervous that I may not be able to enter the industry based solely on my art and that if I did they may not care that I have other skills and it may be difficult to move to a more communication based position, where I think I might do my best work in the future. Also they look for people with leadership potential, which my background is riddled with. Also they aren't in a huge city, which is incredibly appealing to me, they are located in Albany NY. To top it off they consider people right out of college! UGH! I probably shouldn't be getting this excited but it's really awesome to hear about a such an incredible working environment, when I've heard so many horror stories of how it might be working for a typical AAA gaming company. I was getting a little nervous that my future might just be consumed with more work and not much of an actual life. Well the future may not be as bleak =)

Check them out at www.vvisions.com

It feels like it may not be a bad fit, and so I'm very hopeful about hearing more in the future.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Ghost of Wes's Future... MIGS Post Mortem

It's pretty hard to start debriefing about the Montreal International Game Summit... I had the opportunity to talk to some great people, see some great sessions, and so have quite a bit of new thoughts you can imagine. I really wanted to go through each session here, day by day, and give my two cents but really I think I'm going to be a bit more vague then I was originally intending and just go through my two days in Montreal...

I think I have to start with talking about my epic journey to MIGS, no I'm not referring to the packed yellow school bus ride up there, I'm actually talking about the next morning. Mike Fowler and I (dressed to look good, not necessarily for warmth) were following some of our classmates to MIGS when they decided that they were going to take the Metro. Yet we didn't have any Canadian money and so we thought we couldn't buy tickets (later we found that there are ATMs down in the subway stations). So they gave us a couple of simple directions and we were off. And so we walked... and walked... and walked... and inevitably got a little lost. It was a pretty cold and windy morning in Montreal, and when we thought it couldn't get much worse... it started to snow... This wasn't exactly how I was planning on spending my first morning at MIGS, with a little luck, and a lot of backtracking, we did find our way to MIGS and in time for the first key note.

Warren Spector's key note was most definitely an inspiration! After starting on the UN project, and with working on CIMIT I can't help but be intrigued and ultimately end up working games with moral meaning and inevitably games for social change. With Spector advocating that games need meaning, it was just such a great way to start this conference for me.

I was very excited about the next session that I went to with Jason Mitchel from Valve, who gave a talk about "Connecting game play to Visuals," which is something I'm working intimately with on our Senior production game. Any lecture that starts with the Presenter opening with "Ravenous Zombies," you know your in the right place =) I most certainly got some interesting ideas out of this conversation on how to increase the tension of the level that I'm currently working on, and I hoping these are things that I can hopefully implement. Mitchel touched upon two games from Valve, "Team Fortress 2" and "Left 4 Dead." I was pretty interested in hearing more about the unique style of TF2, and after hearing their artist influence I now know why I found this style so appealing. One of their major artistic influences came from Normal Rockwell, who was really my first favorite artist, an odd choice maybe but ugh! Love his work! To think that people are using these sorts of influences in the world of video games is just so cool! Left 4 Dead seems to be a pretty awesome game as well, as much as scary games do just that to me, I think I may have to check it out!

I followed Jason Mitchel into a panel discussion afterwards about "Alternative Stylization," which was really a neat sort of thing to be involved with. In the panel we were able to really get into some conversations with industry professionals about what exactly do they think about key topics and design decisions. Really my take away from this one was an interesting part of the conversation in which it was argued that with less detail in character design, the more association the player can make with their avatar. Which is awesome, not only because I believe in this but also I've been advocating this point for our artistic direction in our UN Concept!

After a... unique oriental lunch with items that I'm still unsure about, I sat in on a lecture given by Laura Fryer, A Microsoft Executive Producer who's most title was Gears of War 2. I couldn't help but love this talk as well, beyond her wonderful "puppy" slides, some of the key points she gave about team management are things that I've implemented since I was a Peer Mentor Sophomore year. Leslie Averil would be proud! Really, without using this term, Fryer discussed the importants of Servant Leadership! Ugh! Which I totally agree with, as the leader you need to be the "catalyst" for the rest of the group. I couldn't help but envy her a little... More and more I'm seeing that I'm very much interested in Producer/Creative Director positions, which are extremely difficult to come by.

The next couple of sessions were equally as interesting, Chris Doran's "Engineering mood and Atmosphere with Light" (which definitely gave me some more ideas for our Senior Game), David Lightbown's "Under the Surface," and Randy Smith's Games are Art, and What to do about it." Smith's talk was pretty animated and fun, and I definitely like the direction of what it seems that a lot of industry professionals are headed.

After dinner, at a place with more things on the menu that I recognized, a bunch of us hit up the Microsoft-Ubisoft Party. This was pretty awesome, but a really hard environment to actually meet people in. It was a pretty small bar, packed with people, loud music, and dark lighting... not really conducive to networking to say the least. Yet I was able to have a pretty great one-on-one conversation with Laura Fryer who gave the key note earlier that day. It was so interesting to hear more of her perspective of not only her job but her work in general and how she got to where she is today. She also gave me some pointers about my talk for the next day, the key one being to NOT vision the audience naked... Unfortunately she didn't have any business cards to give me, so I kind of struck out there as I'd really enjoy talking to her further about her position. I was able to meet a few others that night, one specifically from Mystic Entertainment which may prove to be extremely interesting.

After a long walk, on what still seems to be a bum ankle from our "adventure" from that morning, we returned to our hostel... my comfy half-bed, and I crashed for the evening, knowing that tomorrow would be my turn to speak.

The next morning Mike and I woke up early to hit up a Tim Horton's for breakfast, which was considerably better than my quarter of a muffin and half a hot chocolate I bummed off of a friend the day before for breakfast. Let me just say that this first key note was AWESOME! Cheryl Olson and Lawrence Kutner (from Mass. General Hospital) have been doing research on the possible negative effects of video games, and what impact really does it have on the user. Dr. Kutner made some great correlations between Paperback novels, to Gangster Movies, to Comic Books, to Television Violence, and how much the public all thought they would corrupt the youth and how this sort of stereotyped view is no different today for video games. They gave some pretty hard evidence showing that players, even young players, make the distinction between the real world and the virtual one. Knowing that some of these simulated actions aren't necessarily ones that should be performed in real life. I found this to be great, but at the same time concerning... are we arguing that Video Games have no effect? So I approached them afterwards and asked what they thought about Serious Games and Games for Social Change? Is it possible to make a positive difference even though we argue that games aren't making negative impacts? Is this hypocritical? No, after a pretty interesting and brief conversation Dr. Kutner responded that he very much believed in the impact that Serious games have the potential of having, and that if anything they can be more effective on the user experience then violent media might be suggested. I'm not going to lie, I forget some of his supporting evidence but it was still inspiring nonetheless.

Afterwards I attended Ben Mattes' "Evolution of a Unique Artistic Direction," where he proposed the question "Does a game need to look real in order for it to be beautiful?" Mattes proposes that it doesn't and walked us through some of the design decisions for the Prince of Persia game... one with an artistic direction I wasn't completely sold on... until I saw a bit more. I truly think this may be the new wave of innovative video game creation, we've proved that we can almost match photo-realism, we can pump an engine with shaders, and yet ironically it's not eye catching to our audience. Our audiences is looking to escape to a surreal world (at times), and if we can give them just that... well we have something truly special. Ironically enough after this and a session with Reid Schneider on the "Army of Two Post Mortem," (both of which given by producers) couldn't help but reinforce my feeling of how right a position like being a producer might be for me in the future.

I didn't get much of a lunch this time, for I was meeting with Brian, Heather Conover, and Ann to discuss our presentation to be given later that day. Ironically enough some of my nerves had begun to shake off me, at least mentally anyways... my bowels were telling me a different story haha. I was pretty excited though, and confident because in this arena (while yes we are still very much students in a sense and learning) we were professionals, and I couldn't wait to engage with other professionals about our pretty large... "Problem." After this meeting there was a great key note given by David Braben, talking about how can we plan for the future of video game development. While that was all well and good, I couldn't help but be keenly interested in their rapid prototyping model that his company has been using to develop ideas for working titles. Sounds a lot like things that Lauren and I have thought of since Learning 2007, and to see it implemented seems like a very viable solution maybe for wherever I may work in the future.

I wasn't able to attend any more sessions, as I was tied up in a press interview and then it was time for our presentation. While I was hoping for a larger turnout, yet there was a plethora of interesting designers from many AAA Game Companies. It actually was a pretty awesome session, only because ours was so interactive and the fact that our audience were actually engaged in the discussions we were hoping for. It was also fun to see designers from studios like Ubisoft working with a designer from A2M, or maybe it was EA to be honest I'm not exactly sure but still was awesome nonetheless.

From here was one last key note speaker with Jonathan Blow, who gave a talk on the "Fundamental Conflict in Contemporary Game Design." He had some really interesting points about gaming and the inherent meaning behind certain game mechanics, and most definitely some interesting positions on narration in video games. While I could see where he was coming from, there were a few things that I disagreed with when it comes to narration and video games... yet he's the professional =P

After probably the best pizza I've had in.... well a long time, I went to the Gama 3D party which was organized by our very good friend Heather Kelly (who's been working with us on the UN project if I hadn't mentioned that before). This was a blast! I really sort of laid back atmosphere and some pretty revolutionary games using some interesting tool sets. There was this one awesome block game (which I can't remember at the moment but will be sure to find it and link something more about it here), in which took a pretty simple game of trying to fit a shape to a hole, and utilized head tracking so you could actually look and peer around the block you were rotating to fit. I'm sure this description doesn't do it justice, but it was pretty spectacular. At the party I was able to meet someone who was actually at our session earlier that day named Thomas Anderson, who's an animator at A2M. He was so awesome to talk to, because he runs into the same problem that I've had for a while now... I'm not just interested in art, I have a broad range of interests from design, to producing, and other major aspects of a project. It was really cool to talk to another artist who thought sort of the same way I do. I hoping to talk to him some more, if not to possibly get some help getting a foothold somewhere in the industry, to at least get to know more about what his job is really like and maybe what I should be expecting for the future... if I have future that is. UGH! It's so very scary to be a Senior right now! I don't have much time to worry about this though.

Anyways I have many, many more thoughts on my experiences in Montreal and some thoughts and concerns for me and my future, but for now I think I must end this. This was my experience in Montreal at a glance, and even though I know this was pretty dense... it's been condensed haha.

It's late now though so G'Night All!

Monday, November 17, 2008

MIGS!

So this will be pretty short, really I just wanted to post up some renders of the "Exile's Hut" for Lauren and my senior team project game.

I'm pretty excited to go to Montreal later today for MIGS, anyone who's going up there be sure to check out my session on Wednesday 4-5 pm called Turning Tides: A Game to Combat Gender Violence, with Ann, Heather C, Heather K, Brian, and me! It's pretty crazy to see my bio is put up on a site with a list of speakers who have done some pretty crazy things in the industry. Getting a little nervous but still really excited to hopefully make some great contacts for my near future. Anyways wish me luck and if your in Montreal see you soon!





Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'm in a hurry to get things done

Life still has me running all over the place. I've fallen into a routine, and depending on the day it changes a little but it mostly goes with waking up, going to work, going to school, going back to work, a little more work once I get home, trying to relax a little before bed, and repeat. At times it feels monotonous, I lose track of days, and without weekends anymore things just seem to blend together. People ask how I'm doing and sometimes the best I can come up with is a status update on all of the stuff that I'm working on. It's all I think about, it's pretty much all I do, but I'm pretty happy. Working on new projects, texturing new objects, or seeing projects move forward excite me. It's all I got right now, that might sound a little pathetic but mostly everything I work on right now feels pretty worth while.

Sometimes it's really hard... It's hard to keep up with everything, switch from one project to the next, and to keep my head straight (Please note, this doesnt not by any means imply that I would rather be on one project right now or that I'd like to be taken off of one. Just stating it's complexities). It's hard to hear that I should be learning new things, exploring new areas, and investing my time in researching new methods that no one else in my classes are trying. I'm not saying that any of these things are bad, but when your investing all of your time and your told that you should be giving more... I'm nervous that I'm reaching my breaking point. Lauren and I have been pretty ambitious with our game concept, but I wouldn't want it to be anything less with us. I'm just not sure how feasible it will be if I try to split more of my time away from generating art and focus more on trying to find new methods. I'm hoping if I can get through this next environment pretty quickly, I'll be able to have the time to do the polish work. It's hard having your artwork be compared with Riven or Exile, when I just don't have the time or the resources to make it to that quality... but I'm trying. I think this all is very good experience nonetheless, it may feel hard but it'll make me stronger for it in the long run. Perhaps it will make it easier for me to handle so many things at once with a potential job in the future, this sort of crazed multi-tasking that I've got going for me right now. I don't think I've ever looked forward to Christmas break more than I do this year... the thought of having a couple weeks, even weekends for a little while will be great. Anyways, CIMIT is looking to go through some more mechanics revisions in the near future. I've taken a more designer role on the projects which is sort of interesting but I'm excited. UNFPA I've taken more of a managerial role right now, trying to get my group nailed down, my designers to possibly work a little more effectively, trying to find a good character direction with my co-artist, and all the while doing possible interface concepts. In Lauren and my game I've started working on another environment, which I'm pretty excited about. The renders already are looking pretty decent so I'm hopeful for it.

Next week will be extremely exciting/hectic for me as well, as I'll be headed up to the Montreal International Game Summit!! I'm so excited after reading some of the key note session descriptions, it's such a weird feeling heading to a conference that's actually on games this time around haha. Actually I'm really excited about this one talk about mood with lighting, hopefully it will help me with our production game. Another exciting piece is that I'll actually be speaking at MIGS!!!! I couldn't be more excited, but also I couldn't be more nervous haha! I've spoke in front of thousands of others in the past, but none of them I really considered potential employers! I hope I do well, but luckily I'll be joined by Ann, Heather, and Brian! This is such a huge opportunity, that I'm still just in awe of it a little. I actually ran around trying to get business cards printed up, and even bought myself a URL wesknee.com I haven't had the time to actually build the website, so I have a pretty bad placeholder up there for now and people can access my resume. Which is a pretty good thing I think. On the flip side I can't help but think of what work I may miss due to MIGS, but I'll figure it all out and get it all done.

I think that's all that's going on with me right now, I'd like to post a new render of what I'm working on right now but I think I want to finish some of the textures first =)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Seeing others where I began

It's been an interesting past couple of days, on a last minute cancellation I found myself on a bus to Boston on Tuesday night to attend the CIMIT conference. This was a pretty great trip, granted it was only for a day it felt a little bit like a vacation. Our demonstration went well, it was truly heart warming to see a lot of the things I had worked on functional and working in front of a crowd. I forget sometimes how fun it can be networking and interacting with the crowd as well, and how second nature it's become. It's sort of funny now that there has started to be familiar faces at these conferences, one in particular is John Able. I've grown used to seeing him on my travels and it's sort of neat to get into a good conversation with him. He really gave our prototype a critical eye and I think we survived haha...

What I really want to write about in this blog post is actually about the people working there ironically. The group that went down to CIMIT was just phenomenal and beyond any sort of camaraderie we all had during the trip, they were just great at interacting with people as they passed by. I was truly impressed with some of their networking skills and their ability to draw them into games like Spore and Trauma Center. It was also really great to see and hear from Ann and how the team in Learning 2008 was doing. I feel a bit awkward talking about the team in this light but I feel so proud of them. Hearing about Elliot Masie's new challenges for them and their experience in general is just so cool. It's sort of come full circle... A year ago I was in that place, a year ago on the plane ride back I was hoping that this ride wouldn't end, and so much has happened in that year. I know an experience like what we do at the Learning conferences is a bit changing, and I can't help but wonder if in a year from now this team will feel as I do today and be proud of what the next team has accomplished. I feel awkward saying proud, it implies some sort of ownership I think so maybe it's not quite the right word... but in any case it's pretty awesome. Seeing how much we've grown this past year, how far we've begun to push our boundaries, and wondering what will happen in the rest of this year; makes me sad that there's an end in sight. In that respect I know all good things must come to and end, and that I must move on but I can't help but feel like the Emergent Media Center has become much more then a place of work but also a bit of a family. It's nice to feel like I belong, I haven't always felt that in life. It's going to be mixed feelings for me when I graduate, but I'm even more excited to see how the EMC will progress... and be proud knowing that I was there to help it take some of it's first steps.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Im gettin really good at barely gettin by

It's been far too long since I've last blogged, trouble is free time has become more and more difficult. I'm not really sure where to begin... I've been working pretty intensely on CIMIT these past couple of weeks to try to prepare for the CIMIT conference in Boston next week. Unfortunately I won't be attending, in fact I'm the only Lead not going but that's ok I've got plenty on my plate to do and no time to fall behind. Doubling up on hours for CIMIT has made it hard to put in a good week for the UN, even harder trying to get everyone organized enough to have a meeting. I'm pretty excited with what progress we've made thus far and I continue to be amazed by the scope on these projects... and by scope I mean impact potential they have. This has been really apparent with all of the press we've received these last couple of weeks. You can find all of the links at the Emergent Media Center Blog on my right hand panel, so I'll spare you all of the URLs... needless to say I've become really comfortable being interviewed and having intense conversations about emergent media and well a lot of things. This past week we had the Emergent Media Center's Grand Opening, this was quite the event. I freaked out before hand and got a resume, cover letter, and portfolio CD together with some amazing help from Ray and Ken at work. I was able to hand of a few of my resumes that night to companies like America's Army, EA, and some others. To be honest I had a great conversation with Scott Connolly of Population Media Center. He went to Africa with us and so it was sort of fun to be able to catch up with him, and really since Africa I had been curious to see if they may be getting into the game space and perhaps looking to hire. I really think I could enjoy a position with them, not only would I be working on media for social change (a worthwhile objective), I'd get to stay in Vermont, and maybe even travel a little more =) Yet at the same time I can't help but be enticed by the prospect of working for America's Army. After a bout I had with a certain governmental organization last year, I still would be interested in working with the government. Beyond all that though, I haven't really had time to think ahead too much. People asks me what my plans are, and well I could tell you my outlook on Senior production, CIMIT, or UN stuff, what art assets I plan on working on this week, what paper I need to write, but beyond that well... I need to get through all of this first. Oh that reminds me, when I was working on my resume... It's pretty awesome to be able to put United Nations on there =)


As far as other stuff goes, I've completed the Forest Level assets for the game Lauren and I are working on. I still need to tweek a few things but for now I'm actually continuing onto the next environment I'll be modeling. I had been nervous trying to combine senior production and art seminar together, but it's been working out for the most part. It's hard though because in class I'm just doing things that are so far different then anyone else, and most of the atmospheric effects Buck can't help me with. I had been really nervous for our critique because of this, I wasn't just showing one asset, instead I was showing 20 swfs containing loop animations, stills, and movement cycles. I was surprised that Buck had been so supportive of it and really I think he likes it. In all reality though I'm so happy to start on this new environment, it's sort of refreshing and exciting at the same time. I remember at one point I used to think it daunting to start a new project or character but it's not like that this time for some reason. I sort of like receiving a new piece of clay, and it can turn out to be so many different things... it's exciting... Especially knowing what I know now of new maya rendering techniques.


I don't think I have anything really too thoughtful to put in here... I haven't had much of a social life as of late, but it's ok I'm doing a lot of really great things. When I think of how I'm doing, I always think that I'm just "Surviving" or "Getting by" but I'm not... I'm striving ahead, working hard, and hoping it all pays off =) I'll leave you with a render of a snow scene as a teaser for our game, sadly I can't get all of my renders up here or blogspot would kill me.


Oh! One last thing, Champlain's Team for Eliott Masie's Learning 2008 just left today! I'm not sure where to find them online, but I'm sure Ann will blog down there. Be sure to follow them on what is sure to be an intense four days. It's sort of weird seeing them go off, Learning 2007 was sort of my entry into the Emergent Media Center, and it feels sort of like the torch has passed on. Best of Luck to Kate, Dan, Austin, Chris, Max, and Vanessa! My thoughts are with you guys.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Today it rained...


Today it rained... appropriately so. There were a lot of emotions leading up to today, with not only dealing with a death but also with tensions within the family. I can't help but have mixed feelings about today, on one hand obviously it was a sad day, and yet I got to make contact again with family members I havn't seen in seven years! You start to feel your age when you bump into someone and when last you remember then they were three feet tall, and now nearly as tall as you are! Not to mention trying to catch with people and when they ask you what you've been up to and where I've been these past few years or even lately... My life is all kinds of complicated I've decided, and at times very hard to explain haha. Between my work in 3D (which can sometime be a hard concept to grasp it's self), AA, CIMIT, and even my most recent trip to Africa... It's quite the laundry list of exploits to a pretty interesting life. What did I do exciting last summer? I created a map for a gaming company (funded by the Army), worked on a training simulation for emergency responders, and oh yea went to Africa to create a game targeted against gender based violence... Oh you worked at KFC? That's nice too....


Beyond all that I was truely touched by talking and hearing others speak of my Grandfather today. His time in highschool playing hockey (he always said he used to be a "goo-lee"), his service in World War II on Iwo Jima, when he married his wife Olive, and right up to the end hearing how much of an impact he made on so many lives. He was pretty incredible in his own right. I certainly had a hard time keeping a straight face at times, and most definitly when the bag piper started playing... I don't know what it is about bag pipes that get to me so much, maybe it was growing up going to the scotch highland games with my family and seeing the pipers march, or the mere fact that it's my heritage...


It was great to see everybody today and I find myself at some peace at home. I don't slow down much, and can forget what it's like... as rediculous as that sounds. Yet I'm somewhat restless and can't wait to get running again. I know in my last post I wrote about how I can never seem to slow down and that I just keep running at every opportunity to do so, but I've decided the reason why I sprint is because I can =)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Douglas Knee Sr... My Grandfather

(Douglas Knee Sr.)


My Grandfather died yesterday at 5:15 pm… Where was I? I was off getting a hair cut, ironically in case I have to see family in the unforeseen future. A bit shallow I admit. Since then I’ve tried hard not to think about it, because let’s face it… who has time for a bit of an emotional breakdown? I know I don’t. Instead I’ve been hurrying and worrying about ensuring that missing a full weekend’s worth of work won’t put me too far behind my own goals. Sending out e-mails to teachers, planning what work I can do from home, and for what? I get in these moods where I find this new “work-a-holic wes” to be frustrating. I get nervous about running through life, I try to slow down but at every opportunity what do I do? I sprint… then trip over something I hadn’t planned for. It’s something like this that reminds me that I need to slow down and be able to see into the here and now… instead of having lofty thoughts of the future.

I’ve become so strategic, almost mundanely so. I’m plan out most things that I do and even now I’m avoiding childhood memories of my Grandfather, oh no that time has been allotted to when I go home. In which case afterwards I’ll brush myself off, acknowledge others when the offer their shoulders or an ear, and pretend that everything is all right. It won’t matter whether it’s true or not, but needless to say I’ll have to be in order to get back up to speed with my oh so exciting life. I acknowledge this is a pretty dismal outlook on things at the moment, and I promise you that it will pass. In any case maybe I’ll feel more comfortable writing about him after this weekend.

I’ll miss you Grandpa…

“Rest in peace, you’ve told us lots of stories…”
(A quote that is traditionally said in an African funeral)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Under Pressure

It's been a while since I've last blogged, and I'm not gunna lie, I'm not exactly sure what to say but I have a lot to show.

First off a week ago we heard back from AA, and they wanted us to retool some things on our map once again. So I did what I do best apparently, and really tried to drastically change things (shake things up). I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out, we drastically changed the mountain set up, lowered the high area, and I was able to create some neat new elements to the south that I think really helps it out a lot. Visually our map is still quite beutiful and I think it just keeps getting better. Although while getting these screen shots I noticed one floating item... =(




So yet again I'm feeling pretty positive about our map, but we'll just have to wait and see what the devs think about our latest revision.

I've also been working pretty hard on assets for Lauren's and my game for Senior production. I'm near completion of a Shack for part of the Forest level of our game. I'm still working on the texture and havn't done the spec map yet.


Lastly I've been workin on trying to figure some sort of art direction for the UN project, and possible promotional art. This is my first go at artrage (a digital painting program) and I was pretty impressed. I sort of used a style that I used on an archetecture study once and well I think I'll them speak for themselves, I was pretty happy with them... We'll have to see what the rest of the group thinks of them.



(The one above is my least favorite... I'm not sure what I was thinking...) So yea, this would usually be about the time where I'd give some thoughtful tidbits about life and my thoughts in general about to be honest, I'm just going on a day by day basis. In some ways I think I've finally lost it, I chuckle nervously at the prospect of all of the work ahead me, and somehow it's all become sort of funny. I'm not meaning this to be negative by anymeans, I'm very thankful to be in the position I am, and excited about everything but... I just try not to think too much about it =)

Monday, September 8, 2008

Not making the cut...


I think it’s fairly safe to say that I’ve been through a lot in this past year… I used to say that a person is merely made of up their experiences and I wanted to experience. In some sort of twisted self-fulfilling prophecy I haven’t just had “experiences,” no that would be understating the places I’ve been, things I’ve seen, and people I’ve had the pleasure to talk to. Through all of this I continue to learn and become some kind of better animal, more able to adapt with the intensities of life. Yet every time I feel as though I have a stable footing, I’m reminded that nothing in my life seems to be written in stone. I used to embrace this flexibility, still do in most respects, and have learned from it. Once such lesson I’ve already blogged about, knowing when exactly to kill a project or creation that is deemed un-necessary. There could be many reasons for doing so, but the lesson learned is to not be married to your creations. I’ve recently read quite a bit about companies who make the same sorts of pruning many of us do in our production phases, these cuts help make the company more lean and productive. Today I saw this in another context… Today I was cut from someone’s life (someone who I care deeply for), in hopes of possibly increasing their own productivity in a sense…

In many ways I understand where this person is coming from, this doesn’t mean I have to agree or even like this decision. I’m not meaning this to be a vengeful post by any means, and I hope that others who read into this won’t think of me as being too bitter. This is just something that’s obviously stuck with me today, and I feel as though I had to comment on it.

Today I lost my footing, tomorrow I’ll get back up again… because it’s what I do and how I survive.

...and hey things could always be worse and let's hope our AA map doesn't meet the same fate =)

Friday, September 5, 2008

We're responsible for what we create...

Tonight I worked at Burlington's Art Hop helping to showcase some of the work coming out from the EMC. I was signed up to represent my group's America's Army map to visitors that stopped by, and it didn't take me long to feel sort of awkward about it. I was stationed right next to my CIMIT group and also down the line from the Information Literacy games and as people came to me they would ask me questions like "And so what do you do in your game?" This was sort of awkward... how else would I reply other than "You shoot people." I tried to change the wording around, threw in words like "Tactics" and "Urban warfare" but in all reality even if it didn't pale in the eyes of whomever I was talking to, it did in my own. Has my constructed reality changed so much?? Then I started to feel somewhat of a hypocrite for feeling negatively about this game and my map. It's not like I don't play these sort of games and enjoy then but it left me with one resounding question... Even though I play these games, are these the sorts of project I want to work on? Dealing heavily with projects from both CIMIT and the UN it's hard to answer that question, especially when I can see the medium put to better uses. I hope anyone reading this isn't thinking that I'm turning into a anti-violence/anti-entertainment industry type person, but I have turned into one that has enough conscious to think a little deeper about it.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Not quite re-adjusted but getting there...

So I'm pretty excited, as well as nervous, about this upcoming semester. The classes that I've had thus far have been pretty positive and really I've been excited about my senior production and art seminar courses. It felt really good that I could show both teachers ideas that I've worked on over the summer and in all reality I was expecting to get shot down a little but what surprised me is that I haven't been! In fact they both have been supportive, and I think if I work things right then I'll be able to work on one cohesive project that will coincide with both classes at once. This sort of thing is going to be my friend this semester, with what little time I have between work and school, any consolidation will be a good thing. Although that's not to say that I'm not still nervous about the prospect of all the work I'm creating for myself, and the fact that I keep second guessing if I'm on the right wave length... I'm feeling pretty positive. Also it's been really sort of funny, things the teachers in both classes have asked if we're familiar with, are certain things (or concepts) I've been working with all summer long. It's really nice to see that knowledge gained this summer has already seeped it's way into my other work. So I have a lot of questions in mind about my process, and I've found that I've been venting about it quite a bit. Although I won't be venting about it here, because I've decided that for the most part no one really understands what I'm trying to explain and it's most likely that I'll have to come up with a solution on my own.

Africa is still very much in my mind though... Yet I've been able to find some people I met in Africa through facebook and was actually able to chat with someone I met at UCT the other day, online through facebook chat! It was pretty radical and incredible to think that I was chatting with someone across the world.

One last thought... I've been reading up on globalization (for my history course) and I've made a correlation to globalization in my own life. Just as globalization has enabled businesses to outsource labor and production accross the globe, in a sense globalization has enabled a small college in the woods of Vermont to work on a video game targeted at moral and social issues for young men in South Africa. Sort of funny to think about...

(Just as Globalization has enabled this South African boy to not only know but wear a shirt featuring Disney's Buzz Lightyear on it)

Monday, September 1, 2008

Disconnected

(Sunset over Robben Island)

It's been sort of weird attempting to return to normality... I'm still unsure why I feel this way, and yet I can't help but feel disconnected from everything. Nothing has really changed, it's the same room I've had all summer long, same roommate, same friends, same life... but I feel sort of lost. It was weird to come back and enjoy my materialistic possessions, I have my cell phone, my car, my computer, my xbox, my "things" in this perfect little world that I inhabit. It's sort of funny really, I return to a place that has so many things to do and I'm unsure of what to do. I've become bored, yet recluse. I feel bad that I have been sort of shying away from people since I've returned, yet when I get an opportunity to talk to someone that went to Africa too I relish in it. It's become hard to answer the question, "How was Africa?" What am I supposed to say? "Cool?" Even now I try to describe the experience and so I stare at my monitor clueless of what to write. Instead I think of the people I had the chance to meet and can't help but wonder how they are doing, how are they surviving? What would they think of my world? They'd think it to be foolish I'm sure, exaggerate beyond all means. They have so little, and I have so much and yet find opportunities to complain... even now ironically haha. I can't help but look at my world in a different light and feel somewhat out of place. Not to mention the school is getting ready to rev up for another year, and the campus has become populated again. Seeing many new freshman run to and fro and me trying to remember what my first weeks here were like. It seems like so long ago, and really sometimes I forget that I'm still attending school. My mind has been maintained by so many other things and issues that I had forgotten about my upcoming academic commitments. It’ll be different attending class tomorrow, no the classrooms haven’t changed but I seemed to have. I probably won’t be able to not think about Sinethemba’s class rooms and their learners…

I’m sorry, I hope this isn’t coming across as too down or depressing because that’s not necessarily what I mean here. I am just trying to explain the disconnection I feel, and yet I don’t think I entirely understand it myself.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Cape Town day 6 & 7

While writing this I’m sitting on the floor of Cape Town International Airport, waiting for my flight home. Our flight has already been delayed by forty-five minutes, which makes me really nervous about our connection in JFK. Hopefully everything will be ok and I won’t lose my luggage. Anyways I didn’t get a chance to blog yesterday and I do have some notes about what happened and so I’ll start with yesterday…

First thing in the morning we went off to the UCT campus again to talk with Steve Vosloo(spelling?) and Maryanne Walton. During this talk we discussed key points from our research and had a conversation about the feasibility of what we’re trying to do. Which all and all was great conversation that challenged us to defend what we’re doing. Afterwards we had lunch at the UCT café and afterwards we had another conversation with a guy named Gary Marsden. He was a really interesting fellow who is trying to invigorate the gaming industry in South Africa. He’s sort of like the Ann of UCT, and even had a center called the ICT4D (I’m not sure my notes are correct in this but I have it meaning, Information Communitive Technology for Development). We had a great talk about the mobile market here in Africa and really how viral things can be amongst the townships. What was really funny was that he said that he had spent some time in New Hampshire, and when questioned about it I found out that he worked for Story Land!!! Haha I just found this pretty funny, and sort of strange about just how small the world really can be.

Afterwards we returned to 40 Winks to have a talk with a lady (whom I forget her name at the moment) who is deeply involved with animators around Cape Town and is trying to invigorate the industry here as well. What I really took away from this talk was, not only more information about how we could possibly go about our game, but we also talked about how big and hard this project really is. She called us “brave” which I thought was pretty interesting.

I’ve found in many of the conversations we’ve had with academics her e in South Africa, they are sort of taken back by our objectives and goals, but also equally as taken back by our findings and our knowledge of gaming and learning.
We were also able to finish off the night at this really neat “Cuban” restaurant down “Long Street,” which seemed to be pretty perfect for our final night here in Africa. The food was good, the atmosphere was amazing, and there couldn’t have been more smiles… or dancing… Ann always seems to work that into whatever trip we go on!
Ok as far as today goes we woke this morning to venture up Table Mountain. The morning was a bit too foggy to go all the way to the top, and so we went parts of the way up and took some pretty awesome pictures overlooking Cape Town. From there we went to this awesome like Harbor area where there were several street venders selling goods and a guy with a Seal… no joke a guy hanging out with a seal.
Afterwards we went to a Rape Crisis clinic, which was both good and bad. I’m not sure I’ve shared in the past how much crimes of rape and child abuse bothers me, but it does… ironically after taking on this project huh? Anyways we got some really great information, and insight as to why such things happen and the culture enabling it. From there it’s a pretty easy story, lunch, grabbing luggage, and well now I’m here at the airport. It’s raining like crazy outside, I just saw a luggage box blown off of it’s cart, and yea… it’s just a little bit cruddy. I’m still nervous, flights to where we’re headed go every three days… so yea this could be interesting!
I’ve been really trying hard to put into words how exactly this trip has been but in all reality there is no possible way I could describe that this trip was like. I was talking about it last night with Keith and Brian about this trip and how its really turned this project into something else for all of us. This is no longer just a flaky concept, this has become real for us. I can’t help but feel like it’s bigger then “just a game” and much bigger than any of us. We now have a face to Africa, and it’s exciting how much we all feel for it now. I still find it somewhat scary because, in my opinion, we can’t let this fail. Too much is at stake and too much good can come of this to let it slide. This is so far different than anything we’ve ever done (of course I’m making generalizations about the group), but this is bigger than any sort of class project where a grade is at stake. Thinking about returning to school and starting a new semester seems somewhat silly, as important as school really is to me, this is just… well I don’t want to say more important because I don’t want anyone to get the wrong opinion, I’ll still be diligent about my work at school, but this is something that will seep it’s way deeply into my life and has already seeped it’s way into who I am.

Before I left I blogged about changing, I knew that this trip would be pretty big, and I knew that I didn’t know just how big it was going to be. Epic would be an understatement about the scale of this trip, I’m still reeling with finally having a moment to try to think about some of the information we’ve received. I’m not going to lie, Its been a tiring journey because we’ve done so much in such little time, with no real time for processing all of this information. It should prove interesting these next couple of weeks as we all begin to really think about it all and remember things we didn’t pick up on while we were here. I’m beyond lucky in life, and this trip… has meant a lot to me in my own personal journey. As much as we learn about others, sometimes it’s good to recognize how much we learn about ourselves. So much this week I’ve introduced myself as a Senior Artist at Champlain College… I’m a Senior… This is it… what will I be in two semesters? Who will I have become? Will I have a job? Will I leave these amazing projects behind? Could I really?

As it is now I should finish up this post, I’ll probably be posting this by the time I’m already back in the states. I feel like I should say thank you or some other words of insight here but words have escaped me…
Thank you South Africa.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Rapper, the Soccer player, and Me... Cape Town day five


Good Morning! I’m writing this post day five during breakfast this morning, and am not sure how much time I actually have, so I want to blog about yesterday as quickly as possible…

We went back to Sinethemba (the high school we went to the day before), to join in on a morning welcoming assembly. Unfortunately due to rain there couldn’t be an assembly so we just sort of toured the school. I was happy to see one of the learners that I had talked to the day before, I talked to two boys the day before (one being the “Rapper” and the other the “Soccer player”). The Rapper met us early and wanted to partake in the tour. It was immediately present that we had become considerably better friends then we were the day before. It was like seeing an old friend, we were able to joke and he wanted to lead me to see his classrooms and tell me the real “ins and outs” of the school. The Soccer player was able to meet us half way through, its so fun to see the contrast between the Soccer player and the Rapper. The Rapper is much more vocal and just extroverted, while the Soccer player was a little more reserved but so completely genuine. The tour of the school was really fun but we had to leave for lunch, but we said our good byes knowing we’d return later.

Ok lunch was an adventure! We went to Mophindi’s Butchery, at a place like this you go to the counter and order what sorts of meat you want in quantity of pounds... It’s all uncooked first and they cook it all for you before you eat it. While we were waiting we got an awesome tour from the Manager, he was a pretty interesting guy. He told us of a story of an American from Boston who had actually came to visit the townships in Khayelitsha. He really wanted to see inside one of the shacks and so the manager took him into the township to show him a friend’s place. While the Bostonian was talking to the manager’s friend, the friend started talking about his mother in the states. He pulled out a packet of letters from his mother to show the Bostonian the address… Only to find that the address was the address of the Bostonian’s neighbor, and that he actually knew the man’s mother! The Bostonian pulled out his cell phone and was actually able to call the man’s mother, and it was the first time they had talked in 20 sem-od years. It’s a small world, no?
Lunch consisted of a pile of meats, consisting of chicken, pork, beef, lamb, and sausage. No plates for all of us except for napkins, and no utensils… Image 20 Savage hungry Americans chowing down on a pile of meat in the middle of a township in South Africa. It was quite the experience and the meat was actually really good.

We went on a little tour before returning to the school, at the school we talked to two journalist before getting into our large group discussions. The journalist opinions were sort of interesting and yet it felt as though they had a jaded view of us and didn’t think that we had been as deep into Africa as we could have been. He may be right but we have done some pretty amazing things since we’ve come here, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve been able to get a better view of who these people are.

Afterwards we were supposed to do our large group discussion, I was supposed to facilitated 5-8 people in a discussion but when we made it to our room only two people had shown up. My friends the Rapper and the Soccer player. I was half disappointed, but really happy to be able to really talk one on one with them again. I can’t divulge the exact nature of our discussion but needless to say it was eye opening, and these two learners have such an insightful look into their own culture. I can’t help but feel I made some really neat friends of these two guys. When we left, we left with the intention of returning in the morning, which I’ve just learned that we now have to go back to UCT for some other interviews. Part of me knows this is a good choice for more information, but emotionally I really want to return to Sinethemba so say goodbye to my friends. I have their e-mail though and perhaps I’ll be able to talk to them again… hopefully anyways.

Yesterday night we returned to the V & A for dinner and some more shopping. I did some quick running around trying to find jewelry for Alicia… which I felt completely clueless about! Haha but yea afterwards we went to a restaurant and I had Ostrich again and Spring buck. Ok that’s what happened yesterday and I should really eat breakfast… Until later!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Cape Town... Day four

I’m trying to blog quickly before dinner, because I’m fairly certain I won’t be able to blog again later. So I’ll just jump right into it, this morning we split into two groups. Part of us went back to Langa (a township we visited earlier with my jumping friends) and in the afternoon went to an HIV clinic… yet the other part of us stayed at the bed and breakfast to talk to a guy named Mark Williams, who flew in from Johannesburg, and in the afternoon they went to a school at a township called “Fillipe” (spelling?!) to do small group interviews. I was apart of the group that stayed at the bed and breakfast and went to the school to do interviews.

Mark Williams was an interesting fellow, he created a sort of business game aimed to teach individuals entrepreneurship. We talked a lot about “disguised learning” and how businesses in the area are figuring out that everyone is getting tired of learning the same ways. As interesting as this was, it wasn’t necessarily pertinent to the UN project I felt. It was sort of reminiscent of our talks from Learning 2007, which was great and made some possibilities for the EMC I feel but again I’m not sure if it really related to our project at the moment. We actually had an opportunity to play his game, called “Vantage Point” which was actually really fun! We kept trying to make under the table deals with each other and this social aspects to this game really made this so much fun. This sort of social interaction kind of gave us some inspiration towards game design… this may be something that may be incredibly effective for our audience who is already playing social games in the first place. This sort of social interaction also enables one to personalize the information a lot easier as well.

On the way the way to the high school Ann was telling us a story about how she was talking with one of the people who works at the bed and breakfast that we’re staying at. After explaining the point of the project the woman actually said “Thank you for coming to South Africa.” This sort of hit home for us =)

My experience today at the school was amazing, I’m really not sure where to begin. I don’t think that I’m going to post the name of the two boys that I had the opportunity to talk to, for confidentiality purposes. Yet we were really able to have an in depth conversation over the course of about an hour and a half. Surprisingly we talked about some pretty intense issues, media, sex, “Manhood”, peer pressure, and even home lives. I don’t think I’ll share my findings here right now, I don’t have much time before I sleep so I think I’ll move on. Perhaps later I’ll tell you more details of what sort of things that I heard. Either way I’m going back tomorrow to facilitate a large group discussion with seven or eight young males possibly. I’m excited to go back and make more connections with these kids.

My final memory of the evening was going to a UCT dorm and talking with some of the college students going there. It was really kind of fun to have a casual conversation with people our age and they really seemed to be interested in what we were working on. They also invited us to come look at their rooms, they kept calling it a hostel but it really didn’t fit my preconceived notion of what a hostel is. We looked at a single and really it was about the size of a normal double back at Champlain. It’s crazy just how big UCT is! We’re pretty tiny =) Although we’re small, we do a great many and big things… Something that was really funny was the fact that they invited a couple of us out to go party with them at a bar that sold 1R shots… which would be maybe 13 American cents. I couldn’t imagine a worst idea haha but it was funny to think about.

I feel as though I’m breezing through all of the events today and for that I apologize, but there really aren’t any words for how amazing this all is… I’m hoping that I’ll be able to go further in depth over all of my findings at some point but for now I must sleep. G’night and thank you all for your support =)

Friends... Cape Town Day Three

Today was a pretty crazy day. It started relatively innocent enough; we went to the University of Cape Town to meet with someone there. Unfortunately the person’s car had broken down and was unable to meet us, and so we watched a local station for a while. This daytime drama was pretty weird, illustrating women as the ones who were asking for sex, and were liars as well. They also somewhat showed males as the weak person being bullied into such things. Kind of a twist on things no?

Afterward we went to the UCT book store, and while buying some shwag I met one of the students in line. He was buying accounting books for class, and so I asked him if he was studying math. I found that he was actually majoring in Engineering and is interested in electrical engineering sort of stuff. I wished him luck with his classes and we then went to the UCT cafeteria, there were different stations or venders in the cafeteria and I was just sort of lost about what to get. Standing their confused I found my friend again and so I approached him to ask him for guidance. He directed me towards the chicken burger (which was actually pretty decent), and then I got to talk to him further and he was really quite interesting. He actually grew up in a township and thinking about it, it is quite an achievement growing up from a township and making his way to actually study at the University. I can’t imagine the struggle he must have gone through in order to get where he is today. Much like the other children that I’ve met, I managed to get him to write his name in my journal; Mashilo Moabelo. It was really neat to make this contact and be able to talk to someone in the same position as I am (in schooling) and be able to see eye to eye. He’s currently taking six classes this semester and is very stressed… sound familiar? Mashilo had to go and so we said our farewells. While waiting for the group to get ready for the bus I noticed some kids sitting around a table playing a card game, I tried my best to be outgoing and went and talked to them as well. They were playing a card game called Klaw Chess (which is Dutch, there is a lot of Dutch influence everywhere in the area), still unsure of the rules but they were incredibly friendly.
From there our group piled back onto our bus and made our way to Ikamya Youth (an afterschool youth organization). There we met Joy and Luyanda, two incredibly interesting people who were running this innovative group. They are sort of the pilot program for other youth programs in the country. There is one specific program that we found to be incredibly interesting called “Media Image and Expression.” From this program “learners” (students) are able to “polish” their computer skills. Joy mentioned that in some respects learners attend the program because the computer lab is a safe place for these kids. Apparently there are a lot of gangs in the area, and recently some of the xenophobic violence have even touched this area. I’d urge people to visit their website, and their blog, through Ikamvayouth.org. I haven’t had a chance yet but I’m sure it’ll be enlightening. We gathered a lot of information from Joy and Luyanda but I’ll just post some remember able quotes (and information) from them here now.

June is the youth month.

“People are either infected or affected by HIV.”

“Educational games are the way to go.” ~Luyanda

“Mobile phones would be the best way to reach the children.” ~Joy

Next we were able to actually enter the class rooms of Ikamva youth and sort of observe and help out with the youth there. This was so extremely awesome… we were able to go around and actually help students with their homework, although some of the subjects being covered were ones we hadn’t seen since high school (Biology, algebra, and some history). I was able to go and talk with some students who were doing research on one of their computers. I talked to a boy named Themba about what he was working on, and he was actually working on a play with some other boys. In this play all the actors are animals and they felt that they could address equality through these animals because then everyone is an animal and there aren’t any racial lines. I asked them to elaborate on this and they spoke of the recent xenophobic violence in their community and they felt the incredible need to address some of these issues. I found this incredibly fascinating that these youth were really trying to address a monumental issue (yet I should be used to that sort of thing). Themba talked about games that he plays with his friends and one specifically is called Sastsan, in Sastsan (I don’t know the official rules or anything) there is a lot of singing and dancing including music from many different cultures (and places) to promote equality. It seemed as though these kids were really into community based play… I keep calling these new friends “Kids” yet I have to keep reminding myself that they were 20 years old. They looked much younger, and when I told them I am 21, they laughed! I was confused and asked why they thought it was funny, and they said that I looked much older physically. These “kids” were fascinating, they were running their own “Shi Shi Ravi” classes, and have made their own group called Tafari (meaning “Conqueror of Judah”). Tafari is meant to be a nonprofit youth organization that these 20 year olds are running… Fantastic…

I was also able to sit down and just chat with a boy named Khanyisa Gwangaa, and was able to have a really casual conversation with him and some of his friends. About all kids of things like movies, and even fun stories from home. They told me about their home lives and I talked about my own stories from the farm in which they loved =) Before I knew it I was laughing and joking with these kids without any problems… no kinds of social or cultural barriers percent, just two kids laughing and talking together. What I hadn’t noticed, until I started talking to people from our group again, I had started talking like them and I hadn’t realized it. My voice had become lower keyed, I talked with a different accent, and even my vocabulary had changed somewhat. I felt sort of silly and had to make a conscious decision to be like “oh wait this isn’t how I’m supposed to talk.” Yet as weird as this sort of was, I really valued it and felt as though it helped me connect with these new friends… Zinzi Maureni, Thabile Nelani, Aviwe Thyinkala, Banele Adam, and more.
Another little note on this there was this girl who was showing me pictures of her home from her camera. While showing me pictures she showed me one of this little girl, and I asked her if this was her sister. She then told me that the girl was her daughter… she’s 17 years old.

I’m incredibly lucky and touched to be here in this place. I also couldn’t help but think of home some today as well. I wonder how my America’s Army group is doing, and can’t help but wonder how our meeting with our presentation went in my CIMIT group as well. I hope they are well and striving forward, I can’t wait to talk to them when I get back. Through this my thoughts have also been to Alicia, hoping that she’s surviving training and how I wished she was here to share this experience with me. Also to my folks, and how I can’t wait to share this incredible experience with my family. So many are in my thoughts…

That’s enough for now…

Monday, August 25, 2008

Cape Town... Day Two


Today was a bit lower keyed then yesterday. We spent most of the day actually at the hotel having discussion groups with two interesting people about our goals, Raymond deVilliers from Wisdom Games and Tino (not sure of his last name) a graduate from UCT. This post won’t be too long, most of what we talked about were statistical data and theories of how our game could reach out demographic. A lot of the conversation turned to games that could possibly played on a cell phone. It’s really interesting; South Africa is actually ahead of the US in cell phone technology. Where we’d think a cell phone game would be typically played one someone is bored or waiting for the bus or something, this is actually their medium here. People may be playing on their phones in their home and even before bed. I’m still unsure how effective we can be in this medium, but either way we have to make something that will reach our demographic. I think I’ll include some quotes from my notes today, rather than go in depth on everything that was discussed.

Certain black children who grow up in well off homes and typically grow up with a “white accent,” are teased and called “Coconuts” black outside white on the inside.

South Africa began a large cell phone campaign, holding the belief that “Communication builds wealth.”

There’s a large anti-alcohol campaign that promotes “no drinking and walking.”

The people in South Africa are at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy, they are merely trying to survive. Therefore there aren’t many creative or innovative people.

The last major thing that I want to talk a little bit about was that we went back to V & A tonight to do a little shopping. I felt like I spent quite a bit of money but I have to keep remembering that it’s all in Rand, and the US dollar equals roughly 7.5R. So needless to say I found some pretty interesting things, but at one point one of the cashiers gave me the wrong change back on one item… Actually giving me 50 more rand back, I went back and fixed things and was feeling extremely positive about it. Sort of like a karma thing ya know? Then when I was on my way back to meet up with the group for dinner, and I was approached by a young male asking for change. He kept talking about how he needed to buy bread, so I reached into my pocket and tried to find the largest coin I could fish out for him. I didn’t want to give him all of my change and so I pulled out a 2 Rand coin. He began to beg me for more as I tried to back away, telling me that bread is 8 Rand and how he really needed it and that he was starving. By now my friends were already ahead of me and I was desperately trying to rejoin them and I kept refusing the man. Eventually the man gave up and I was able to move on, but not really… he really stuck with me and it bothered me a lot. I could have given him more Rand, and yet I couldn’t help but ask myself if he would really spend it on bread? Yet I feel like a horrible person for thinking so, and left having a sort of tension in my stomach that wouldn’t seem to go away. I then met up with everyone at our restaurant, which ended up being incredibly fancy. Looking at the menu seeing most meals at 70-150 Rand, I couldn’t help but feel completely horrible. I turned a blind eye to possibly someone in need to return to my privileged way of living. I just felt gross… and sort of lost my appetite. Granted the meal was fantastic and I was actually able to just call my folks to wish them a Happy Anniversary! Yet this feeling has stuck with me some, and I can’t help but feel just a little bit guilty.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Cape Town... Day 1

“Rest in peace, you’ve told us lots of stories…”
(A quote that is traditionally said in an African funeral)


Well it’s been my first official day in South Africa. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to actually blog so I’m blogging first and seeing if I’ll be able to upload these later. Or maybe it will be one long blog post at the end of the trip, but who knows. I guess I’ll start with the trip over, with a total of twenty-four hours of travel time and sixteen of that on a plane alone… we were all pretty exhausted to say the least. It was sort of an interesting experience, which I’m not sure how to explain. Either way we were pretty excited to actually reach land. My first actual glimpse of South Africa was of a sunset over Table Mountain, which was an amazing sight. The first night we went to this restaurant/bar called News City, which was pretty good and all but I was too exhausted to really enjoy it and I was excited to get back and get some sleep. Also the Forty Winks hotel is really nice, I have to share a bed with my roommate Keith but who really cares at this point. It’s just awesome to be here.


I slept hard through the first night and breakfast was pretty good, from there we headed straight to our township tour. This was a crazy experience… Not gunna lie it hadn’t really felt like we were in Africa yet. I was feeling sort of disconnected from this place until we visited this church, after visiting a youth center. First of all the church was in this large hanger like warehouse, painted aquas, blues, and purples, with loud speakers set up for the preacher (also there wasn’t a cross anywhere to be found). At first glance it was just sort of loud and overwhelming, with people singing and praying quite loudly. What shocked me most was what came next, a young man came up to be with his hands out, I wasn’t sure what he wanted until he took my hand in a hand shake. I then started to notice others were doing the same all over the church; everyone was embracing each other welcoming them including us… Many people, women and men, came to hug and shake our hands welcoming us. This was just very weird for me in a sense, I’m not much of a touchy feely person, but this was really kind of different. We continued from there into the actual township, to find that man older males who were not attending church had already begun drinking. It was hard to see the poverty of this place, what was harder to see was the children. They approached us tentatively at first, but then became interested and started to follow us. The first boy who I interacted with sort of hung around me for a while and kept trying to get into my pictures. Yet when he asked for money, and I refused, he left looking sort of embarrassed. I felt sort of bad after the encounter too, sort of like I had done something wrong. Yet other soon came and I began to interact with them. Two such boys were very funny, as they ran and play fought with each other constantly. What worried me though was the fact that they kept marbles in their mouth, not sure if they were chewing on them or what but we were all nervous that they were going to choke or something.


I made two interesting friends, one named Theo, the other I couldn’t understand and am unsure that he even spoke English. What touched me the most was when we began to play, it was simple at first and I didn’t really think too much about it until they kept urging me to play with them some more. Really it was nothing, they would hold my hands as I walked and they would say “1, 2, 3, JUMP!” and as they jumped I’d sort of strong arm their jump higher, shooting them into the air. Before I knew it other boys began fighting for my attention and it was… well… fun and neat to sort of make a quasi connection with these kids half way around the world. I’ve been able to make connections with kids before back in the states, but it was fun to see some of the same mentalities in these kids. Enforcing the fact of how similar we really are. I let the kids write their name in my journal because I knew I couldn’t remember them by myself. These are some of the friends I made today Theo, Lantu, Sinazo Leke, Sisipho, Esoha, Akons, Sikota, Habonka, and Zukhaye.


What was hard to think about later was the fact that the reason why so many of these kids were so attached to many of us were because they just don’t really receive much attention elsewhere. Most of their Mothers have died of HIV and in most cases these kids are made to stay with elder family members and such. It is really weird to think about how far different American childhood is to this one township, we’re always told not to talk to strangers let alone play with them, and these kids are not only just wandering the streets alone but warmed up to us quite quickly. It was also sort of hard leaving, getting on the bus afterward I pulled out a bottle of Purel. Many of the other kids around were asking for some and I knew that I needed to as well, but I felt sort of guilty about it… sort of like I was washing my hands of them and returning to my fortunate life… while they go back to return to not much at all.


Afterward we went and had lunch by the harbor, I had the “Earth and Sea” which consisted of chicken wings, sausage, French fries, and calamari… interesting to say the least. From there we got onto a Ferry to Robben Island (spelling), where the large Apartheid prison where Nelson Mandela was held. Not gunna lie, I crashed on the boat ride over, but then upon waking up I realized just how high the wake was as we made our way to the island. These swells weren’t really for anyone who gets just a little sea sick. Anyways the Prison tour was pretty interesting, and I guess the island was also a Leper colony before it was a prison… Anyways I got some really interesting pictures, and even managed to see some penguins! I guess I don’t have too much to say about the island it’s self, it was pretty scenic and stuff, and educational for sure. Looking at my notes I wrote something about how there was one inmate (who’s name I forget at the moment) who wasn’t allowed to actually speak to anyone for several years… and when he would see his fellow inmates at a distance he would grab some dirt and let it run through his hands. This was his way of saying, “You are the Sun and the Earth, you mean everything to me. Fight until you get the land back.” (Or something like that ) I also found it odd that the tour guide kept referring to people as comrades, which makes most Americans think of Russians… go figure.
Afterwards was an amazing Dinner by the harbor. I sort of went all out and had Antelope and local wine… pretty awesome =) I’m trying to keep this as short as possible, even though this is already fairly long, so I’ll be ending it here. Either way this was a pretty intense day and was the first day I really felt “In Africa” and in some way apart of it.