I see how much I miss childhood and how much I actually enjoy it. There are so many things I could say about this past week, but nothing can really sum it up. It was pretty great, so great that I feel as though I'm at a lost now that it is over. As enthusiastic as I had been about my job has somewhat left me since this week, and the thoughts of going back depress me. I already miss the kids, as tiring as they can be, I just can't get enough of them. I think a major part of this past week was that it was a learning experience on both sides, obviously the campers were learning more about technology and stuff but I do feel as though they may have learned some things about.... hmmm.... trying to think about it, I can't put a name on it. I don't want to say life or how to act or even play but it's something about learning more about ourselves is really what I'm trying to say. We went to go see Walle and afterwards us, the RA's, loved the movie... and some kids were in a stage where it isn't "cool" to like a rated G movie. Yet when they heard us talking about it, they sort of admitted that it was alright =) Yet we are all big kids really, and I'm realizing that more and more. I'd have to say that the final days of camp were the greatest, kids had finally gotten out of their shells and that's when I felt like I had the most camaraderie with many of the students. I'll admit I was completely flattered by one student, who very much considered themselves a "mini-wes." For some reason I felt drawn to talk to him, and I just so wanted to talk to him about... life I guess in order to pass on some sort of wisdom. Yet in all reality he didn't need it, and I didn't enter into this talk with him. Instead I let him take sunglasses that he had grown quite accustomed to wearing, on the promise that he'd wear them on his next big adventure... Being a foreign exchange student in Japan. It's all about the journey... no?
I'm very definitely on my own journey, and for much of the time I'm unsure of the path but I think that it'll be ok. I've noticed one thing about this path I'm on, I've grown really accustomed to working in small groups, on a tight deadline, tackling an interesting challenge or question in order to present it in an interactive way. I found myself in another rapid production cycle with the kids in the last day while we got their presentations ready for their parents. It was another "ah-ha!" moment for me as I realized this. It's weird how second nature it all felt, is this what I am to do? It feels pretty right... I just don't know how it translates.
Life's hard... I'm receiving a lot of pressure to work on my portfolio, yet ambition has been hard. I work hard all school year, and not having homework for at least a little while has been refreshing. I think a few things have added to this, part of it is that I've come to terms that this is probably not what I'll be doing for the rest of my life, and two I do think I've taken a bit more stock in life lately. I missed a lot this year, experienced a lot for sure, but to slow down... that's nice. I don't need to run through my journey, and wonder what I missed in the end. I felt as though I sort of sprinted this last year past, and well... I'm taking a moment I guess. Maybe in a week or so I can start some more work, time will tell.
My last concern is that I know that I talk a lot about how I think that things will be ok, and well it's something that someone at Digital Now said that has got me worried. She said that my generation is over-confident and that we always expect a safety net. At the time I thought it was preposterous, but now I'm not so sure. Am I guilty of this?
I was apart of team Schmoozers and We Are Legend
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