I see that following your gut and taking chances, at times, have the best reward. Watching a movie recently reminded me of this, and really got me thinking about how I've taken some leaps in my life and continue to do so. I can only hope that in the future I'll be brave enough to continue this trend.
Things are going pretty well on my end for the most part... I'm somewhat exhausted, having gone home this past weekend to work, only to return to Burlington this week to work some more. Going home was good for me though, it's been some time since I've been home and doing what I typically do during the summer was somewhat refreshing. I had been somewhat nervous to return to the kayak shop, but in all reality it came back like I had never really left. It's funny how part of town have very much become my home, and other parts never really made the cut.
It was really nice returning to Burlington though, finding my new roommate had cleaned and even went out and had bought enough groceries to fill our kitchen! To be welcomed back with a smiling face was also pretty awesome. What was hard about coming back was actually work this week. CIMIT has just become somewhat grueling for me, and wreaks havoc on my brain only for me to jump straight from that to America's Army... where I most definitely have to be thinking, I don't mean to sound pretentious but I can't help but feel if I don't think others may not pick up the slack. It's hard feeling like I can't have an "off day" but I'm doing fairly well. I had some issues with parts of my group on Monday when I confronted them about not showing up to our mandatory meeting last Friday, and found myself almost playing "Dad." Feeling as though I'm scolding my kids... It's equally frustrating and nice that they rely so heavily on me. I find that each member of my team asking me at some point about what they should be working on and my opinion of their work. Joel (our producer) even approached me on Tuesday to thank me for stepping up on Monday and confronting the group, and at times I feel as though he feels the need to check in as well. It's weird feeling like I'm producing the producer and all the while trying to get my stuff done.
One person, though, seems disconnected from the group... to be honest I think he's sore because we didn't end up picking his level design, since then I can't help but feel like his efforts go towards changing our design or looking for a new job. I get the feeling he won't be happy unless we're doing "his thing," and as it is now it's fairly obvious that he doesn't want to be there. I missed a confrontation he had with Joel today, I was in the bathroom odd enough time for this to happen, which resulted in him leaving for the day. I'm still not exactly sure what it was about, but I have a pretty good idea. Some members of the group expressed their sympathy for him, yet even though I could see where they were coming from... I still had a hard time feeling sorry for him. Maybe I've become cynical but I just feel as though he hasn't really provided good arguments for his designs and hasn't tried to critique or add to the pre-existing design. I don't know... I just wish he was more involved in the group, if he was I feel like I'd be more apt to hear him out. As is though I can't and am not sure if he'll really attempt to re-join the group. Although this is an issue for Joel to handle, I've told him that if he needs to talk I'd talk with him about possible solutions, but I do think it'd be inappropriate coming from me directly.
Other than that, things have been going really well =) I'm fairly busy but that is to be expected of me. Always learning, leading, and striving forward I suppose... G'night
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