Douglas Knee Sr... My Grandfather

(Douglas Knee Sr.)

My Grandfather died yesterday at 5:15 pm… Where was I? I was off getting a hair cut, ironically in case I have to see family in the unforeseen future. A bit shallow I admit. Since then I’ve tried hard not to think about it, because let’s face it… who has time for a bit of an emotional breakdown? I know I don’t. Instead I’ve been hurrying and worrying about ensuring that missing a full weekend’s worth of work won’t put me too far behind my own goals. Sending out e-mails to teachers, planning what work I can do from home, and for what? I get in these moods where I find this new “work-a-holic wes” to be frustrating. I get nervous about running through life, I try to slow down but at every opportunity what do I do? I sprint… then trip over something I hadn’t planned for. It’s something like this that reminds me that I need to slow down and be able to see into the here and now… instead of having lofty thoughts of the future.

I’ve become so strategic, almost mundanely so. I’m plan out most things that I do and even now I’m avoiding childhood memories of my Grandfather, oh no that time has been allotted to when I go home. In which case afterwards I’ll brush myself off, acknowledge others when the offer their shoulders or an ear, and pretend that everything is all right. It won’t matter whether it’s true or not, but needless to say I’ll have to be in order to get back up to speed with my oh so exciting life. I acknowledge this is a pretty dismal outlook on things at the moment, and I promise you that it will pass. In any case maybe I’ll feel more comfortable writing about him after this weekend.

I’ll miss you Grandpa…

“Rest in peace, you’ve told us lots of stories…”
(A quote that is traditionally said in an African funeral)