Sometimes I find myself a bit disconnected, although mostly it's a result of the situations I find myself in. Moving to Montreal four months ago, without knowing a soul up here certainly didn't help this predicament. Yet in college and even high school I never found that I made many truly meaningful connections with people. Sure I had friends, still do, but not many "best friends" and even fewer relationships. I've become comfortable with the notion of being alone, or at least that what I told myself. Moving so far from what's familiar has made me realize that I was wrong... I haven't been alone. For the past four years I've been able to be with someone truly special. There has been ups and downs, but they've always been there. We've been there for each other... some of my happiest memories are with her. The hardest part about all of this has been not being able to see her every day, talk with her, and laugh. I've been lucky though, I've been able to see her off and on, through quick trips back down to Vermont. Although it's likely that it's all about to change, and that I'll see even less of her. There's not many things I fear in this world, I've been able to overcome a lot in the life that I've lived, but one thing scares me to death. I think I'm going to lose her, and that's going to leave a hole inside of me that I'm not sure will ever be the same.
I tell myself to have faith. That something this strong could never go away but I'm not sure what to think. In a perfect world I'd see her with me for the rest of our days... but I don't live in a perfect world. I live in Montreal, and she's about to live far away.
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