Fireworks

I looked up in wonder and awe… and yet I wondered how many times had I actually witnessed fireworks? I had seen fireworks since I was very young, hell it’s an American past time! I remember seeing them as a child in Sandwich, again actually with music at Universal Studios as with my parents, I remember watching them out over the water at Disney last year with Ann, Sarah, and Lauren (On Lauren’s Birthday), and now here in Montreal I stood in awe of the big bright lights and explosions. I couldn’t help but consider how really all that fireworks were, were highly complicated particle emiters, and even had a moment of contemplation about how I might be able to recreate fireworks pretty easy maybe… then Benoit got mad at me about thinking about work… So I focused again on the present. I felt like a kid again, and could feel goosebumps ripple my skin. Then my eyes wandered to a young boy looking up in awe just as I was, he couldn’t control his little feet and hands from shaking in joy… and I could relate… Although I had 22 years to find ways of controlling such outward emotional marks haha but I felt as he did… in wonder of the world. As I sat back and admired another artists work, I began to think about my own. I think I’ve started to become too comfortable, going to work, coming home, going to work… Watching the fireworks made me remember why I wanted to become an artist in the first place. I want to cause the same sort of excitement, the same sort of emotion that this little boy was feeling at that very moment. But what am I to do? Will I start an animation that I’ve been thinking about? A new character perhaps? But resounding from deep within myself, an answer came easily… I need to start writing again. I need to finish what I started five years ago… I need to tell my story. A story that when I think about, I get goosebumps… every time. A story that I have so carefully crafted in my head, and have enjoyed so many times in the quiet corners of my mind. I need to share it…

Afterwards I had an interesting conversation with a friend. She argued that the reason that so many people were so unsuccessful, was due to a deeper subconscious doubt that everyone held inside themselves. Sure we all want to do well and be successful, but when we might not even know it, there is a bit of us inside that thinks that it isn’t possible. Little did she know, and I wasn’t about to share it because I couldn’t get two words into the conversation haha, she was talking again about a self fullfilling prophecy. Thinking about this, I know exactly what she means, but the results for me has been somewhat different. There have been many moments in my life that for whatever reason, I felt a cold hard resolve that knew… positively, that whatever goal I had just set for my self… I would complete it. It was always a strange feeling really, to know absolutely that yes! I will accomplish this. Conversely I have had moments where I wanted something to happen, but deep down inside part of me knew it wouldn’t… and guess what? It didn’t…

I’m remembering this feeling again… and for whatever reason I can’t help but feel like this story could be something special. Maybe that just means for me, maybe it means the same for others? Who knows? This is something that won’t be completed swiftly. No, this is something that needs to be nurtured and grown properly. The seed has been planted for a long time though, and leaves have begun to sprout… It’s time for it to bear fruit.