Limbo

I think it's time for me to start changing some things in my life. I know this may sound very dramatic but I can't help but feel like I'm still in limbo somewhat. I think my problem is that for the moment my life has no clear direction or goal. Perhaps I just miss the structure that college provided me. While I may not have had short term goals (but often I did), I knew what was coming. You could count on it, the seasons would change, you'd get certain vacations, a new semester would happen, new classes and such... there was this constant that was the cycle. Before that was the same, thinking of high school there was a routine that you became accustomed to. Now? It's hard to say. Maybe this is just me realizing that I have to really be the one setting new standards in my life, and setting up goals for myself. With living a full life for so long, it feels a bit strange trying to piece a new one together.

This hit me mid way through this past weekend... what were in my thoughts? Work... I was anxious to get back to work. Not necessarily because I have something waiting for me there, but... well I dunno why. I certainly enjoy my job as of late. What has there been for me outside of work? Not much really beyond movies or videogames, and the occasional outing with people from work.

So I've been thinking... what does this mean? When your preference shifts from your free time to your work time? Perhaps I should get involved into some sort of activities or clubs, or perhaps I should start (or continue) work on certain unfinished projects that I have floating around in my head. I could always fill my weekends by visiting the states, either friends in Burlington or Family in New Hampshire... but part of me feels like that's just me avoiding the problem. I know a large factor in all of this too is that I can't help but feel pretty broke lately and for whatever reason somewhat introverted. I've always balanced between introverted and extroverted, but really when push came to shove I leaned towards being an extrovert.

I'm not really sure people read this or not, and I can really sort of doubt that they would care about all this self reflection all the time. Yet this blog has become more selfish then anything else, and in many ways helps me sort out my thoughts... and inevitably my life a little bit. I'd like to write about interesting insights into video games and their possibly impacts on society and people's development... but for now that's just not what's in me.
If people are reading things, though, they shouldn't take it as I'm being depressed or negative... just pensive and thinking a lot I guess.

I'd like to leave you with some sort of conclusion too, but really there isn't one... not for now at least. I'm still trying to figure out this new road I'm on, that's all.