Maya

I've avoided writing for the past couple weeks, as these have seemed to be the most trying and didn't necessarily want to be completely negative. Things have been a bit hectic with ramping up with school, and especially the UN project. These past two weeks had been solely focused on a presentation that we were to give on Thursday the 22nd in New York, to our benefactor and others from the UN. During all of this our senior team project had given some specific guide lines that we had to address in order for our game to make it pass "Green Light" and continue with production, and that presentation was the Friday after New York. As trying as this time has been, we gather strength from continuing to walk forward and not falling down. I'm happy to say that I had a really relaxed weekend, although not being glued to my work always concerns me but I'm sure I can make it up during this next week.

The presentation to the UN on Thursday was a pretty big success I think, as nervous as I had been it went fairly smoothly. Getting into these intellectual conversations is something that I seem to live for, somehow I've become a talker... Not exactly sure when that happened but yea New York was pretty awesome. As happy a day Thursday was, though, I also recieved word that my childhood dog had died... Something pretty hard to hear between meetings, and trying to stay on track. He was very old, and if anything this was probably the best way he could have gone but I still wish I had been home. This had been my dog since I was really little, and I named him Rex, a little cliche I know... but I was really into dinosaurs and he was my T. Rex. I wasn't always as social as I am now, and during that time he was my best friend... and I'll miss him. Before I begin to sound any more like a bad country music song I'll just change the subject haha.

So upon returning from New York I ended up having a pretty late night preparing for our Green Light deliverable, which I have still yet to hear about. We were told that we wouldn't hear until the beginning of this week, but I think it went over pretty well. I'm not sure I could be happier with how the group seems to be shaping up, I think if we get the green light we'll have something pretty great to show in April.

I've had a lot of different strong emotions in the past week or so, and I'll admit that I've been a little all over the place. Through it all, though, it has been educational in a sense. I'm learning more about those around me, some things more shocking then others but needless to say pretty revealing, and I'm always learning more about myself. I know I'm being incredibly vague, but I'd rather think I'm being tactful =)

One thing I did want to share though, this may sound sort of random, but I find it odd that the word "Maya" keeps popping up pretty prominently in my life. Growing up I was deeply interested in mayan mythology and lore, coming to Champlain I've ironically become deeply invested in a software called Maya, and now through a world religions class I've stumbled upon Maya once more... This is an excerpt taken from a book called "The Illustrated World's Religions" by Huston Smith, and it's talking about Hinduism but yea,

"The Hindus have something like this in mind when they characterize the world as maya. The world appears the way we see it, but that is not the way it really is. Maya comes from the same root as magic. In saying the world is maya, non-dual Hinduism is saying that there is something tricky about it. The trick lies in the way the world's materiality and multiplicity pass themselves off as being independently real.... Maya is also seductive in the attractiveness with which it decorates the world, trapping us for a long time within it and postponing our wish to journey on." (page 53)

What do I do in maya other than "decorate" a world, in which may appear attractive and engrossing but in all reality does not exist; and it's existence hinges on others taking a pause on their journey... I can read a lot of different things out of this, but what I'll share is that I think it's all about perceptions. While somehow I've become invested in the business of false perceptions, and I'm finding that everything is in how we perceive the world around us. Perhaps we need to keep a critical eye to it too, just like any bit of reading we need to evaluate our own "realities." It's about how we choose to perceive things and how we choose to react to things that fall in our journey's path, and while things get tougher and really hard at times... You've got to have faith that you'll keep walking, that you'll topple the next rise, and that it may seem as though you've picked the steepest slope... You've picked it for a reason and you should climb it and claim it as your own.

Walk your own path, even if you have to trudge though a little shit every now and again.

Seeing the Finish Line

It's been a while I admit... but I think I had to let go of things for a little while. Coming back home has been pretty good for me I think. It had been a long time since I had actually had time to think, granted I practically have too much time to do that at home, it's been nice to reflect for a little bit. Something that I haven't been able to really escape from is the concept that I'll be graduating in a few months... Between being increasingly busy because of both work and school I hadn't given it much thought, yet many of my family members kept asking when exactly I was going to graduate and then its sort of hit me. This four year journey is nearly at an end... And as in anything it seems as though the climax of this story has been it's best part. I've fallen in love with my life at school, I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of really great people and make some connections that up until now I hadn't really thought much about, but really I've made a lot of great friends... a lot of friends that rely on me in some way, as I rely on them. Some friends I've had for longer, and some are new, but all accumulate to a pretty interesting dynamic that I've got going at school. It's hard to explain to others who I am and what I've been doing, and it's hard to understand I'm sure, but I've come to really value it.

It's hard not to feel sombre in the fact that my life is bound to change drastically in the next few months. I can't imagine where I'll be even this summer, but for some reason I hold some faith that this ride won't be ending May 9th but a new one will be beginning. Maybe in the end the best we can do is embrace uncertainty, because that's really all we have.

What is certain though is that Lauren and my game is going forward! We got the news yesterday and I'm sure she's as excited as I am. Even from home I can't help but get my mind back into "work mode" and begin thinking about scheduling and how we'll deal with the integration of new members. Unfortunately we were only given one new artist when I asked for two, which may change our scheduling a bit... and concerns me that I'll have to take on considerably more work. I was hoping to not work quite as much next semester, being my last semester, but I'm not sure how that goal is going to work out. Yet I'm convinced that this semester I'm going to fight to have at least one day off, novel concept I know haha but it sort of feels like a guilty pleasure at this point.

I guess it's already apparent in my last paragraph that its going to be a struggle this semester to think beyond the work that I'm doing now to my future, and as much as I know I need to be thinking of the future I can only hope to focus on the here and now and hope to excel one last semester at Champlain College. That is sort of my goal though, to not only excel at Champlain this last semester but really to enjoy my time in Burlington knowing that it will soon be over.

We live our lives to tell a good story... and so far I'm enjoying mine.

Also I'll be making the slow transition of this blow over to my new blog location at wesknee.com, it's still a little underconstruction but is close to being up. Please check it out though and you can check out images and a trailer from Lauren and my prototype... Enjoy!

Oh! I almost forgot (if your not viewing this from wesknee.com you should go there now) but on the right hand side you'll see a list of links that go to articles that include me in them. The most recent is "Q&A with Canyon Makers." Check that out too!

Canyon: People keep talking!!

Hey,
I just thought I had to do a quick check in to post up links to these threads, listen what people are saying!!

"Actually Canyon is a great map and District needs some cleaning up (way to much stuff on that map). These maps are the best maps to come out since Urban Assault. All the new maps that have come out recently are awful."

"I agree. I absolutely love canyon, and I think I could learn to love district too. Both are well designed, fast action, and fun. Exactly what a pub map should be."

"IMO Canyon is the best map released in a long time."

"canyon is quite good, requires a really good comp but it's funny on a 26 man server."

"Tried both maps in single player and both look good.By the way, there is a Yeti in the hills on Canyon." ~Damn it took only three days for people to find him!

Also check out this Youtube video someone posted up...

It is so incredible that people are enjoying our map!! Considering our map was the underdog for so long, I couldn't be more proud =)

On another note Lauren and my prototype is coming in so well!!! UGH! I'll try to post up a picture of our slick at some point... Can't wait to present a semester of long hard work. December ended up being amazing.

Canyon

It's been a pretty crazy week, last week of classes, running around trying to ensure that everything is getting done for our impending final presentations, and finally the release of our America's Army map to the public. It's sort of funny because I really didn't have enough time to think about this too much before it actually happened, and then when it finally did it was pretty big. Funny thing is I had stayed up pretty much all night the night before the release trying to fix last minute bugs in our map with my team, and the next day I was feeling more miserable then excited. Then it happened, probably literally with one button press our map was released to the public and suddenly forums and websites were reporting the news of the new maps and our achievements, and naming us by name! Sort of a HOLY CRAP experience when it came down to it. To think that suddenly there were other people, that could be anywhere on Earth, that were excited and speculating about our maps and then to think that people were now playing what we poured our hearts and souls into... WOW! The next day we kept checking in and at one point there were around twenty different servers running our maps in thirteen different countries, all at full server capacity. To think now that sure anyone can download and play our maps, but there are something like 9.3 million active users already on America's Army and have full access to our map! That's pretty crazy to think about... The exciting part is this is technically my first game release, and I'm not even out of college! The EMC threw us a pretty awesome LAN party last night, it was sooooo much fun to see so many people in and being excited playing our maps and just sort of generally heart warming to hear people actually like your creation. So far response has been pretty positive on forums and such...

As far as how I'm doing? Well I've been at work all day to try and finish up last minute finals homework and really get our production game finished. I'm pretty excited for that presentation, Lauren and I have done some pretty awesome things with this concept this semester and I can't wait to show it all off =)

OK have to get back to work but if you havn't downloaded AA yet, go download it and play our maps!!

At least check out the info on our maps on their site.

Also be sure to read the press release, it's on alot of different websites but all pretty much say the same thing.

Wanderlust

I've been thinking a lot lately how fortunate I've been throughout my life to have gotten to know the right people at the right time of my life. This may sound sort of weird but I feel like I've had the opportunity to really get to know the right people to influence me during the right times of my life... At times they have been Teachers, Coaches, and even peers; all who have helped shape me to be the person I am today. Speaking about this, if I had not had the opportunity to meet one of these people I probably wouldn't even be consciously recognizing this right now. That person is Alan Stracke, who I had my Freshman year for "Intro to Sociology." Funny story is I originally wasn't even signed up for his course, if I hadn't met my friend Niki in the first days of school I wouldn't have even known about it. Since then somehow he's changed the way I think, and perceive the world around me. I've been able to work in many of his teachings in not only the way I handle myself, but also in what I do in game development (I'm even using his book as a resource for a research paper I'm writing haha). He'd probably laugh if he heard this, considering he's not the most familiar with what exactly I do but his teachings still stand I believe. Really a lot of the models we use at the EMC to do games for learning, and even the PMC's "Sobido Method" falls right in line with what Stracke used to preach in class... engage the audience (user, student, whoever) and if they are engaged, they are learning and they are personalizing the information.... I'm not sure what it was about that 8 AM class I had when I was a freshman, maybe it was the funky reggae music first thing in the morning, or Stracke's crazy antics and stories but it's stuck with me...

It's sort of funny to think of him now, after all of this time. I was reminded of him by a article that was done about him in the Champlain Current and since then I can't help but reflect back on what I've learned from him, and others like him in my life. I feel bad that I've fallen into this crazy busy life I lead, because I really miss him... and yet I haven't taken the time to really reach out because that's the thing I'm short of most these days. Which has become more and more apparent with this semester's closing.

Thinking back on people who I'm thankful for meeting, it's sort of funny because I actually think of a friend I work closely with right now... It's weird to think that we haven't always been friends, but she's not only been great to work with but inspires me to be better at what I do.

That's another thing, I really think a great thing has happened at the EMC. I remember as I was going through college I had little to no contact with the grade above me, and with the culture and atmosphere that has been created at the EMC it's been so great to get to know people from different years through the EMC. Really it's been sort of fun watching them get into Maya, because I've had the opportunity to help out with some of their projects through some interesting late night work sessions we've had at the EMC as of late. The EMC is going to help further develop a stronger community and bond amongst the "e-gamers" here at Champlain College, and everyone is going to benefit. I could only imagine if I had received help when I was a sophomore and learned about more advanced stuff then I could only image how much more I could learn during my time here. I fully expect the Sophomore class to learn more, and go farther than I had the opportunity to do here, but don't take this as me being bitter by any means. I'm actually really excited for them.

Actually I was really touched the other day when two of my peers started talking about how they wished they had a "Wes in a Pocket," haha which I thought was pretty cool =)

These last couple of weeks have been hard, a lot of work and not a lot of time to do it but I've been hanging in there and am confident in the weeks on finals ahead. I'm planning on posting some stuff from our game soon after our presentation, but for now I'm keeping most of it under wraps. With these busy weeks I've had my ups and downs, but I'm doing alright and am looking forward to Christmas break that's closing in. I sort of wish Ann was around because there's a lot that I'd like to talk to her about but she's on some well deserved vacation.

OH! I almost forgot to say! I guess it's ok for me now to say that our America's Army maps have been officially accepted!!! They are releasing our maps later this week, with us fixing a few more bugs in the mean time but yea there has been an official release!!! Check it out at Americasarmy.com and in case any of you are curious, "Canyon" is the map concept that I worked on most of my summer. So yea it's been so exciting to see people actually writing in forums and speculating about our maps, not to mention being excited to play them!! UGH SO EXCITING!!! We'll be having a release party at the EMC on Friday, I have a lot of work to do but I'll take some time to celebrate... even though I didn't really for my own birthday haha but this is sort of bigger!

Anyways I'll end with the fact that through it all Stracke created a sort of Wanderlust in me, that has stuck with me and quite possibly will forever...

G'night all


Wanderlust:
A desire to travel, to understand one's very existence.

It's an odd feeling getting older

On drives back and forth from Burlington to home, I think about a lot of things... today was no different. As I approach my 22nd birthday it's really sort of weird to see the "adult" (if that's what you can call it) I've become. This Thanksgiving when asked stories of my life and how things were going, I gave up tales of friendships made in townships in South Africa and talked about how busy life is for me working on three gaming projects. It's hard to think that not too long ago I was in High School, and I wouldn't believe anyone if they told me that I'd be able to do what I've been able to do in the past four years. It's sort of funny this sort of paradox that I have with myself, I like to think I keep becoming wiser. Reflecting on the past I think, "If only I was that knowledgeable then." Many people probably feel this but fail to realize that they will think that about themselves in the present in maybe a month's time. So maybe it's good to realize that we're never as wise as we might think we are... Ugh sorry about that rant... Anyways I just can't help but think of this last phase of my life, the friend's I've made and memories created here... I can't see where I'll be a year from now, but I'll most definitely look back at this busiest part of my life (thus far) and as hard as it is right now, I'll look back and smile... and I'll miss it.

Vicarious Visions

Ok, so I don't have very long to blog but I felt the need to blog quickly about my experience meeting two incredibly interesting people from Vicarious Visions. This pretty much was the topping on an already pretty incredible week, but I can't help but be so excited about what they are doing at Vicarious Visions. The most attracting factor is just the work environment in general, it really seems as though they have gone out of their way to make it pretty exceptional. They actually encourage their employees to have a life outside of the office, crazy idea! It sounds as though it's fairly easy to move around the company internally depending on your interests, and that's the other thing... They recognize that there are really two different kinds of people, those who can focus solely on that one thing and be really good at it and those who have varied interests and good communications skills. That is so exciting because I had become increasingly nervous that I may not be able to enter the industry based solely on my art and that if I did they may not care that I have other skills and it may be difficult to move to a more communication based position, where I think I might do my best work in the future. Also they look for people with leadership potential, which my background is riddled with. Also they aren't in a huge city, which is incredibly appealing to me, they are located in Albany NY. To top it off they consider people right out of college! UGH! I probably shouldn't be getting this excited but it's really awesome to hear about a such an incredible working environment, when I've heard so many horror stories of how it might be working for a typical AAA gaming company. I was getting a little nervous that my future might just be consumed with more work and not much of an actual life. Well the future may not be as bleak =)

Check them out at www.vvisions.com

It feels like it may not be a bad fit, and so I'm very hopeful about hearing more in the future.